Reader Questions: Sleep Review

Over the last few weeks, many readers have sent in questions about infant sleep, several focusing on how older babies sleep.  So, today we will review some information about normal sleep at different ages. Then we will share some tips for tired parents and links to past posts about infant sleep.

Sleep Duration

All babies are different, but there are some general patterns of infant sleep duration at each age. The following is an excerpt from a past post we wrote about infant sleep. (Click here for the full post)

• Newborns (birth to 6 weeks) wake frequently and erratically. Parents of newborns must be realistic, prepared, and ready to ask for help!
• By 2 months, most babies are sleeping longer stretches, but waking 2-3 times during the night.
• By 4 months, many babies start to sleep more like their parents, falling asleep into a deeper sleep and sleeping for 4-5 hours at once. Unfortunately, teething and changing routines can increase waking intermittently around this time.
• By 6 months, some babies sleep for 6 hours while others are still waking more frequently, though not every night. There are so many changes typically occurring at 6 months, new skills, new activities, new travels, new teeth...older babies sleep well for a few nights, then wake again. It is no wonder that "sleep training" is so popular among parents of babies around this age. 
• About 80% of babies sleep through most nights by 1 year of age.

Remember that sleeping through the night by research definition is about 6 hours of continuous sleep!

Why Babies Wake Up During the Night

Young babies wake up for 3 important reasons:

• To eat frequently
• They dream a lot (which helps their brains grow and develop) and wake easier when dreaming
• Waking often helps them stay comfortable and safe

These reasons are described in more detail in one of our very first posts! Click here to read more about why it is important for young babies to wake up.

Older babies who are healthy and growing well may still waking at night. If your older baby wakes frequently at night, check the following:

• Lights from TVs or video games flickering on the wall (steady nightlights are usually ok)
• Caffeine in the breastfeeding mother's diet
• Changes in daily routine or no consistent routine
• Baby is overstimulated or overtired
• Too much sleep during the day
• The need to practice new motor skills
• Noise, but only if it is sudden and quite loud (babies quickly get used to familiar noises)

For more information about the developmental reasons older babies wake, read our previous posts  Baby Behavior Mysteries: A 9 month old resists his crib and  provides Tips for dealing with a waking 9 month old.

Tips to Deal with an Older Waking Baby

The following is another excerpt from a past post (Click here for the full post) that offered alternatives to try in place of sleep training. Using these tips can help everyone get a little more sleep.

• Establish routines!  Repeated activities and experiences are calming to babies and help them establish body rhythms that are closer to those of their parents. Bedtime routines allow babies time to shift naturally from a drowsy state into sleep. Babies will differ in how much time they need to become ready for sleep; many take at least 20 minutes. Believe it or not, you'll miss the bedtime routines when your children outgrow them.
• Reduce or eliminate caffeine for breastfeeding mothers (don't worry, you'll get to have that morning mocha again). Babies' bodies take a lot longer to get rid of caffeine than we do. Remember there is caffeine in tea, sodas, energy drinks, and other products. Read labels.
• Make sure that baby isn't overstimulated close to bed time (this is easy to do if parents typically get home late from work). Watch for indications that your baby is drowsy and start your bedtime routine right away. If you wait too long, you might end with a screaming, overtired baby who will be less likely to sleep than a baby put to bed earlier.
• Make sure that baby spends plenty of time awake during the day. Give babies plenty of chance to be active, moving, and practicing their new skills during the day.
• Include a special bedtime toy in your bedtime ritual, something that is safe to leave with baby as he drifts into sleep.
• Don't end your routine with baby being completely asleep. When babies are put down when they are very drowsy but before they are asleep, they may be better at putting themselves back to sleep if they wake in the night. This doesn't work with babies who hate feeling drowsy and resist sleeping at all costs! I had one of those! The trick is that the baby must be very drowsy or very accustomed to this as an end to the night time routine.
• Recognize that most babies make noise when drifting to sleep or they are dreaming, don't assume that intermittent noises mean your baby needs you immediately. Give your older baby a few moments to fall asleep or get back to sleep on his own.

Additional posts about infant sleep:

Back to Basics Part 1: Reasons Why Babies Don't Sleep Through the Night

The Science of Infant Sleep Part I: The First 6 Weeks

The Science of Infant Sleep Part II: Big Changes in Sleep Patterns (6 to 16 weeks)

The Science of Infant Sleep Part III. Relationships that Influence Babies' Sleep

The Science of Infant Sleep Part IV: Falling Asleep versus Staying Asleep

What the Recent Research on "Cry it Out" Doesn't Tell Us

Reader question about older baby sleeping independently

Why We Don't Like "Sleep Training" for Babies: Part I

Why We Don't Like "Sleep Training" for Babies: Part II

We hope this review of infant sleep was helpful in answering some of your sleep questions. If not, let us know and we will do our best to provide the most up-to-date, evidence-based information!

Reader Questions: What we can and cannot answer

Over the last few weeks, we have been getting more and more comments and emails from our readers. While we always encourage questions, feedback, and topic ideas, we want to take a few minutes to remind everyone about what kinds of information we can and cannot provide through this site.

We CAN:

• Answer questions about general infant behavior and development (including sleep)
• Provide evidence-based answers to questions about how babies communicate (like cues and crying)
• Provide tips and resources for parents looking for support

We CANNOT:

• Provide medical diagnoses
• Provide one-on-one counseling for very specific feeding, sleep, or crying problems
• Advertise other websites or products

We would like to help our readers in any way possible, but we feel it is important not to provide information that we are not qualified to give. We are not medical doctors, we are researchers. Also, there are many issues that require in-person consultation, which is not possible given that we have readers all over the world.

If you have a question and are unsure if it is something we can help with, please send us an email. If we can provide answers and support, we will. If it is something that we feel needs more personalized or medical attention, we will let you know. Whenever you are concerned about your baby's immediate help, call your medical provider.

Thank you for your continued support of our blog and, as always, we look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions!

Babies' Firsts: The Science Behind Rolling Over

A few weeks ago, as part of our Babies’ Firsts series, we had the following questions for our readers:

1. How old was your baby when he or she rolled over for the first time?
2.  Did your baby roll from back-to-tummy or tummy-to-back first and how long did it take before he or she could roll both ways?
3. What kind of adjustments or modifications did you have to make in your baby's environment to accommodate his or her new skill?

First, we’d like to thank everyone who commented! Your stories show that every baby is different and that even siblings who grow up in the same environment achieve milestones, like rolling over, at their own pace. Today, I’ll share the story about when my youngest daughter, Charlotte, learned to roll over and then explain what research shows about how and when babies tend to develop this important skill.

Charlotte’s Story
Charlotte is 7 months old now and she’s been rolling over for 3 ½ months. She first rolled from her back to her tummy while we were playing together on the floor. Although we had been having “tummy time” a few times each day, she never seemed to like it, so when she first rolled over, she promptly started crying. I helped her roll back onto her back, but within just a few minutes she was back on her tummy again. It went on like this for a few weeks until she learned to roll from her tummy to her back.

We had to make quite a few changes when Charlotte started rolling over. We had to be much better about keeping the floor clean and making sure that her big sister, Olivia, picked up her toys. We also had to start keeping all the dog toys out of reach and I bought a foam play mat to make our hard floor a little softer for her. All of the effort came in handy, because before long she was army crawling all over the house (but that story is for another post!).

Rolling Over Research
Everyone knows that there are 2 ways babies must learn to roll, from back-to-tummy and tummy-to-back, but many people (including me, until today) may not know that within each of these rolling methods there are 2 types, with and without rotation. Here is information about each type:

Prone to supine (tummy-to-back)

• Without rotation – Rolling from tummy-to-back without rotation means that the shoulder and pelvis are aligned, body is extended, and the movement starts from the head.  It can start as early as 1 month of age, but only about 10% of babies can roll this way by 3 months; 50% and 90% achieve it by 6 and 8 ½ months, respectively.    
• With rotation – Rolling from back-to-tummy with rotation is characterized by a shoulder and pelvis that are not aligned, movement originating from the shoulder, pelvis, or head, and rotation in the body.  Because the rotation is a more complicated movement, this type of rolling typically starts around 4 months with 50% achieving it by 7 months and 90% by about 9 months.

Supine to prone (back-to-tummy)

• Without rotation – When a baby rolls from back-to-tummy without rotation, his head will be up, his body will be stretched and his shoulder will be in line with his pelvis. The movement will begin from the head, shoulder or hip, and his body will move as one unit. Fifty percent of babies can roll this way by about 5.5 months and 90% reach this milestone by 9 months.
• With rotation – Rolling this way requires the baby to lift his head and stretch his body and the movement starts from the head, shoulder, or hip, but the shoulder and pelvis will not be aligned, the baby’s body will rotate, and the legs will move separately from the rest of the body. Just as with tummy-to-back, rolling with rotation is mastered a little later than rolling without; 50% achieve it by 7 months and 90% by 9 months.

So, the take-away message: The age at which babies master rolling over varies greatly! If you think about it, it makes sense given that rolling over requires the coordination and use of many muscle groups.  Regardless of the age of your baby, rolling over means that you have some baby-proofing to do! For more information, refer to Baby Proofing Part 1 (for birth to 6 months) and Part 2 (for 6-12 months).

Reference:
Piper M, Darrah J. Motor Assessment of the Developing Infant. Philadelphia PA:W.B. Saunders Company 1994.

Questions for our Readers: Rolling Over

Back in April, we started a new series where we ask our readers to share their experiences watching their babies achieve various milestones. In the first post, we asked for stories about one of the first (and, in my opinion, most exciting) major milestones, smiling!

For the second installment of our Babies’ Firsts series, we want to know about rolling over! Specifically, we’d like to know:

1. How old was your baby when he or she rolled over for the first time?
   
2. Did your baby roll from back-to-tummy or tummy-to-back first and how long did it take before he or she could roll both ways?
   
3. What kind of adjustments or modifications did you have to make in your baby's environment to accommodate his or her new skill?

So, if you’d like to share what it was like when your baby started rolling over, please send us a comment! Keep in mind that all babies are different. We are not trying to encourage competition about whose baby rolled over earliest; we simply want to provide an opportunity for parents to share their experiences with each other. Next time, we’ll describe what the research shows about how and when babies start rolling over and share tips to help parents make sure that their newly mobile little one stays safe.

Reader Question: 7 month-old "yelling"

In October 2009, we posted an entry titled Infant Development from 6 to 7 months: New Wonders, New Skills, and New Fears, as part of our infant development series. Recently, we received the following comment on this previous post from a reader:

My 7 month old daughter is in this phase where she will yell. And it doesn't seem to just be yelling to hear her voice, its when she wants something. And if

you do not respond, she gets louder and at times even shows an angered face. I am curious...Is this a negative behavior leaning towards fits or just her way of communicating? And how should I handle it. I feel if I respond to the yells, it is teaching her that yelling is appropriate to get things you want. But if I ignore her, how else is she going to communicate? A little confused.

Even though this comment is referring to a post that is a few years old, it is very timely for me personally. My youngest daughter, Charlotte, is almost 5 months old and if I had to choose one word to describe her, it would be LOUD! She started cooing a few months ago and since then, she has gotten very comfortable with her own voice! She loves to “talk” to her older sister and “sing” to the dog. Most of the time her noises are happy, but there are times, like when the mobile stops before she’s ready, that her babbling turns to squealing, or as the reader called it, yelling!

While I understand why the reader feels that her baby may be developing a bad habit, I don’t think she has reason to worry yet. The reader’s daughter is a little older than Charlotte, but they are both doing the same thing; they are experimenting with their vocal ability and learning from the response they get! Babies learn cause and effect at about 4-5 months of age, and with this new found understanding of the world around them, they also begin to show frustration. It seems that the reader’s daughter is showing her frustration by yelling, and for her age, that is perfectly normal; what other option does she have to express those feelings? The important thing to remember is that even though she is learning through trial and error at this stage, she is also learning by watching people around her. Ignoring her when she is yelling won’t do anything to ease her frustration, but responding quickly and acknowledging her feelings will teach her that you are there for her and want to help her understand her world. Even though she isn’t communicating with actual words yet, she does understand a lot of what is said. Her language skills are developing and talking to her will help her learn to communicate more effectively. She will also learn to deal with her feelings by watching how others react to theirs, so modeling the appropriate way to express emotions is very important.

We hope we’ve answered this reader’s question, and we welcome you to ask questions too! Simply post a comment to any of our blog posts and we will do the research and find an answer for you.

Questions for Our Readers: Your Baby's Firsts

We know that we have some long time readers whose babies are well into their 2nd year as well as newer readers with newborns and others who are still waiting for their babies. Every few weeks, we thought we'd ask our "old timers" to share some of their babies' firsts with our "newbies."  To start us off, here are our questions; you can respond by posting a comment.

1. How old was your baby when he or she smiled at you or someone else for the very first time? What do you remember about why your was baby smiling?

2. How old was your baby when he or she first laughed for the very first time? What was your baby laughing about that very first time?  

We look forward to your answers!

Reader Questions: Fast Answers

Recently, we've had several questions that don't require long explanations. In this post, we'll respond to several of these questions at once. We've paraphrased the questions to make them a bit shorter.

1. What is a nursing strike?


A "nursing strike" often refers to older babies' refusal to breastfeed by turning or pushing away from mom and refusing to latch. Some mothers might interpret a "nursing strike" to mean that their babies want to quit breastfeeding. This can be very disappointing for moms who haven't yet reached their breastfeeding goals. Nearly all older babies will refuse to breastfeed occasionally, but most will return to breastfeeding fairly quickly. It is common for babies to turn and even arch away from moms when they are using disengagement cues. If they are distracted or disturbed by loud noises, over stimulation, illness or discomfort, babies may use disengagement cues to let their moms know that they need something to change before they feed. Remember, babies can't be specific about what is bothering them. It is up to parents to figure out what might be wrong. If mothers ignore these early cues, babies will escalate the cues and may start to fuss or cry. When hungry babies refuse to feed, it is important to look around the environment and reduce distractions or help babies feel more comfortable before trying to feed them.

2. Why does my baby like squeaky toys?


Babies' sense of hearing is well developed at birth and most babies love repetitive sounds. They like music with repeating melodies and toys that repeat sounds over and over. Squeaky toys can be particularly fun because they are associated in babies' minds with games they've played with mom or dad or with their own ability to predict the noises the toys can make. Babies love to anticipate experiences and events and will squeal with glee whenever they are able to predict the end of a game, like peek-a-boo, or the result of an action like squeezing a toy. See our earlier post to read more about why babies are so happy when their predictions come true.

3. Is it ok for a 5-month-old who can roll over on his own to sleep on his tummy?

As long as your baby's sleeping place is safe (e.g. firm surface and free of heavy bedding, stuffed animals, or anything that could trap your baby) babies who can roll over on their own do not have to be returned to their backs if they rollover from back to tummy during the night. However, it is best that all babies be put down to sleep on their backs no matter what they do when you turn out the light.

Next time: More reader questions and we'll introduce a new series!

5000 Readers!

We're excited, and maybe a little overwhelmed, to see that our blog had 5000 readers this last month! We welcome all of our new readers and hope that you will take the time to ask us some questions. If you are new to the blog, we encourage you to read the first 4 posts from last June (2009) and then explore the keywords on the left to find other topics that interest you. There is still so much to share! Please let us know what topics you want us to cover next!

Next time: A New Baby Quiz!

Reader Question: How to keep your baby from being grumpy while grocery shopping

Young babies' behavior can be greatly affected by their surroundings. New sights, smells, and sounds can be exciting and sometimes overstimulating to babies. Parents can find addressing changes in babies' moods more difficult when they are not in the comfort of their own home. In the past, we've provided tips about traveling with your baby, visiting friends who don't have kids, and taking your baby to the doctor. Recently, we received this question from a reader: My baby always get fussy in the grocery store. She seems to hate it but I have to take her with me sometimes. I just have to keep going but she gets pretty bad. Can I make it better for her?

Although we don't have enough information to identify exactly what is going on for this baby, there are numerous things that could be overstimulating her. The bright lights, cool temperature, music and announcements playing over the speakers, odors, and the bright colors of the products lining the shelves can quickly saturate a baby's senses. In addition, babies are often fascinated by other shoppers passing by. Even though the grocery store can be an overwhelming place for young babies, shopping trips don't have to lead to major meltdowns. Here are some tips that can help make a shopping trip easier on everybody:

• Plan ahead. Taking your baby out in public when she is tired or hungry increases the likelihood that she'll become irritable. If you know that your baby tends to be happier at a certain time of day, plan to run errands then!
  


• Try to limit stimulation. Going to the store during slow times (at my grocery store, Saturday mornings tend to be pretty calm) can help reduce over stimulation. If the baby is still in the carrier style car seat you can pull the shade up to limit the light shining in her eyes.
  


• Stick to your list. By making a list and sticking to it, you limit the amount of time spent in the store and reduce the risk of over stimulation.
  


• Bring help. If possible, it can be useful to have one person to attend to the baby and another to do the shopping.


• Interact with your baby. Sometimes when we are trying to hurry through the store, it can be easy to overlook our babies' need for interaction. If your baby is giving engagement cues, try talking or singing to your baby while walking up and down the aisles.
  


• Bring a snack. For my toddler, a trip through the grocery store is like torture if she can't nibble on something along the way. We usually bring a little baggy of apple slices, which lasts just long enough for me to get through the whole store.
  


• Dress your baby comfortably - It can be pretty chilly in the store, so bringing a little extra clothing, especially in the summer when your baby may be dressed lightly, could prevent her from getting irritable because she is too cold.
  
  
• Safety first. Remember that grocery carts aren't designed with the safety features found in strollers. Car seats propped up on the seat, and toddlers who can wiggle out of the safety belt can easily fall onto the floor. Always staying with your cart and being aware of your surroundings will help keep your child safe.
  

These are just a few tips that we have found useful. We would love to hear any additional tips you may have!

Reader Question: Introducing your dog to your new baby

I love dogs! My family got our first dog when I was 8. So, when my husband and I bought our first house, he promised that we could get a dog right away. One week after we moved in, I found out I was pregnant, but I still insisted on getting a puppy. Ichabod (Icky, for short), an American Bulldog, joined our family on Christmas Eve, just 5 months before we brought our daughter home for the first time. Even though Icky was a sweet, well-behaved, and loyal puppy, I was nervous about introducing him to our tiny baby. It appears that I wasn’t the only new mom with this concern, because a few weeks ago, we received this question:

I am about to have a baby and have a dog. I'm worried about how to introduce the baby into the house so the dog won't think it's either an enemy or a toy. How do I make this happen?

Based on our experience, I think preparing before your baby is born is the most important thing you can do to encourage a smooth transition for both you and your dog. Here are 3 things I recommend doing as soon as possible:

1. Address your dog’s behavioral issues that could escalate once the baby arrives.

Bad behaviors, like jumping or chewing, probably won’t magically disappear and could get worse or even emerge once the baby arrives. Other, more serious behavioral issues, like food aggression and being territorial or possessive, could be very dangerous if not handled properly. There are a lot of resources available to help you improve your dog’s behavior. Our family uses the Dog Whisperer approach, which is based on understanding dog psychology and establishing pack leadership. Regardless of which method you choose, eliminating problem behaviors early will make your life much easier.

2. Evaluate your dog’s routines and consider what revisions will be needed to accommodate your new baby

I was 2 ½ months pregnant when we got Icky and I have to admit that I treated him more like a baby than a puppy (I blame the hormones!). He was pretty small when we got him and it took no time at all for him to get used to sitting on my lap. As we both got bigger, it got harder and harder for him to fit on my lap, so I started letting him sit on the couch with me. Luckily, my husband recognized that this behavior (my behavior) would have to change before our daughter came home. Instead of allowing Icky on the couch or on my lap, we got him a dog bed that fit right next to the couch and taught him that he could only sit next to me when I invited him. This small change proved very useful, he never once jumped on me when I was holding the baby.

3. Introduce your dog to other children and babies.

This can serve 2 purposes. First, it lets you observe how your dog interacts with children so that you can identify and correct any unwanted behaviors (like jumping or barking). Second, it allows your dog to experience the sounds and smells of childhood and infancy. Infant crying can be very shocking to dogs when they aren’t used to it, so it may be beneficial to expose your dog to a baby’s cry when you are more equipped to help him respond appropriately.

As you get closer to your due date, I suggest making a plan for how your dog will be cared for while you are in the hospital. Drastic changes to a dog’s routine, like leaving a dog who is usually inside outside for several days, can lead to unwanted behavior, so keeping things as normal as possible while you are gone could be very useful. If your dog usually gets a long walk in the evening, ask a family member or friend to continue that routine while you are gone. Our dog’s behavior is noticeably better when he gets enough exercise.

When you are finally ready to bring your new baby home, it is important to consider what your dog may be experiencing. Not only have you been gone for a few days (which always gets my dog a little worked up), but you will look and even smell different. Our experience was a little unusual because I came home without my daughter, who had to stay in the hospital after I was released (see When Motherhood Doesn’t Go According to Plan: Part 1). I was in the hospital for 9 days and although Icky was extremely excited to see me when I came home, he was also hesitant to get too close. It wasn’t until I sat down and reached out to him that he came up to me. When we brought Olivia home a few months later (see Part 2) my husband, who is a much better pack leader than I am, carried my daughter in. This is something that many of my friends, who were able to bring their babies home right away, have done too. They came into the house, allowing the dog to greet them and calm down before having the baby brought in by someone else (spouse, family member, etc). How close you let the dog get to the baby is a personal decision that should be made based on your comfort level and your dog’s temperament.

Our experience introducing our dog to our new baby went very well. Icky was immediately respectful and protective (although not too protective) of our daughter and now, 2 years later, they are best buddies! Here are a few more tips that you may find helpful as your family adjusts to your new addition:

• Take a few minutes a day to give the dog your attention
• Exercise is key to having a happy, healthy dog
• If you are worried about your dog chewing on the baby’s toys, it may help to avoid buying your dog toys that resemble baby toys
• Remember that babies get over stimulated very easily. If your baby is watching the dog play or if the dog is barking, your baby could get over stimulated and need a break.
• As your baby grows and becomes mobile, there will be a whole new set of issues you’ll need to address, but we’ll save those for another post!

Finally, we want to stress that you should NEVER leave your dog with your baby unattended. Even the most kind, gentle dogs, are animals and may harm the baby (intentionally or unintentionally).

Next Time: We’ll answer a reader question about naps!