Divided Attention and Parents' Stress: Part 2

Last time, we let you know about the increased stress that results from “multitasking” or dividing your attention day after day. While we all spend a good part of our days doing two things at once (typing and listening to music for example), the stress comes in when we have two or more tasks that require first our attention and then, processing time. Things that you do so often that you literally do them “without thinking” like navigating around in your own house, don’t count. So, remembering, prioritizing, decision-making, negotiating, evaluating, and learning are all things done best one at a time. You may think that it doesn’t matter (don’t all parents tie shoes, read emails, and prioritize their days by rapidly switching app-like from one task to the next?) but all the processing power needed can leave you drained, making even mundane things seem difficult. No matter how hard you try, focusing and unfocusing on thoughts and tasks will leave some of them in the dust.  Over time, 18 hours a day of multitasking will take its toll on you and your relationships.

A Better Way

Having competing demands is normal and often out of our control, especially for parents! But we can decide how we handle those demands. Knowing that dividing your attention is stressful all by itself, you can take steps to minimize the need to divide your attention. You might think it is impossible given how little time you already have but focusing more often on one thing at a time will make you less stressed and more efficient.

Let’s do that morning again, this time actively working to focus on one thing at a time.

You know you have an important meeting and you find yourself thinking about it when you wake up. Because you know your kids will need your full attention, you take a few minutes to write down all the thoughts you have about the meeting on a notepad you always keep by your bed. You answer the texts you have received as best you can while letting your co-workers know that you will not be answering any more texts for 40 minutes (or however long you need). Your spouse asks you about adding the trip to the gardening shop to your errands and you ask that he or she send a text  reminding you to add it to the list you already have in your phone. You hear your preschooler wake up and you silence your phone before you walk in his room and start your morning routine. Because he has all of your attention (until the baby wakes a few minutes later) and you are following your normal morning routine, there is no tantrum, and you have a chance to pick out an outfit together while you talk about how many days are left before Halloween.  When you are ready to go (feeling calm but busy), you grab your notes and pick up your keys in the special dish set out for that purpose on the counter and head out the door. After you get both kids safely into the car, you stand outside your car for a moment and check your texts and messages, answering only the most urgent and letting your boss and your co-workers know that you are on your way (on time).

A fantasy? No. None of this is any harder than what you already do. The difference is that you chose to focus only on one thing at a time. You can so this by making 3 simple changes.

1.  Proactively make multitasking unnecessary. Instead of quickly switching from one thing to another, consciously divide your time based on your immediate priorities. Let others know what you are doing and why. They can learn from your example. Remember, your full attention (even for a limited time) is a powerful way to help your children live happier and healthier lives.
2. Whenever possible, don’t rely on your memory. Retrieving memories on the run will divide your attention. Instead, take notes, make lists, and ask for reminders.  Choose to keep the most important objects (like keys, purses, wallets, cellphones) and notes in the same place so that you won’t be distracted by wondering where they are.
3. Follow routines whenever you can. Remember, things that you do so often that you don’t have to think about them require very little processing energy so you can focus on important things, like counting the days to Halloween. We’ve already shared a lot of reasons why routines are good for babies but routines can make life less stressful for you too!

None of these steps require any money or extra time. But taking them can make a big difference in your stress level and your life.

References

1. Nebel, K et al. On the neural basis of focused and divided attention. Cognitive Brain Res 2005; 5: 760-776.
2. Petrac DC et al. Differential relationship of recent self-reported stress and acute anxiety with divided attention performance. Stress 2009; 12: 313-319.
3. Wetherell MA and Carter K. The multitasking framework: The effects of increasing workload on acute psychobiological stress reactivity. Stress Health 2013; epub, ahead of print.

Divided Attention and Parents’ Stress: Part 1

The world we live in demands that we are constantly connected to our electronic networks for news, work, friends, and the latest trends on Twitter. We don’t just need to know…we need to know now. Parents, especially those with young children, also have to be constantly aware of their children in small ways (“don’t touch, that’s hot!) and big ways (“will she like the new babysitter?”). The divided attention needed to stay on top of everything seems to be no longer a choice for parents and has become a normal part of life. “Multitasking” is an expectation, and for most people, a source of significant stress. In the past, media messages and employers asserted that the human brain is limitless and that people, especially women, can manage a lot more work “simply” by multitasking (doing tasks simultaneously or switching back and forth between tasks very quickly). But, the latest research has demonstrated that multitasking has its price, in less focus, accuracy, and creativity, as well as increased stress.

You may be wondering why I’m bringing this up in a blog about babies.

If you are a Secrets reader, you are interested in understanding more about your baby’s behavior. You might be thinking that knowing more about your little one will help you feel less stressed. But knowing a little more about yourself might be more helpful. You may not be thinking of the ever-present need for divided attention as a source of stress but it is known to be so stressful, scientists use situations that require divided attention to induce stress for experimental purposes.

Here are some of the documented effects of divided attention:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Perception that common tasks are more difficult to accomplish
• Mood changes
• Interference with the ability to remember things, including future tasks
• Interference with retrieval of memories and reduced accuracy of those memories

What do these effects mean in the real world?

Let’s say you’re late for work because the kids haven’t been very cooperative. The baby might be getting a cold and your preschooler had a tantrum when you told him that he can’t wear his Halloween costume. You have a meeting in the early afternoon and co-workers have been texting you about it since you first woke up. You had planned to run errands on the way home from work and your spouse asks you to make another stop at a gardening shop that you normally like to visit. You’re almost out the door when you realize you can’t find your car keys. You get a call from your boss just as your preschooler disappears into his room. What happens next?

• Your breathing gets a little faster and you feel overwhelmed and even a little sick
• Anything your boss asks about seems out of line
• You resent your spouse for asking you to run his or her errands when you already have too many of your own (even though you can’t seem to remember what those errands are)
• You feel overly frustrated with your preschooler for going back into his room. After all, he “should know” you need to leave
• You are certain that you left your keys on the counter and can’t imagine any other place that they can be (even though you put them on the hall table without thinking earlier in the morning)

Does any of that sound familiar? Put sleep deprivation in the picture and everything gets worse. It may seem that there is nothing you can do about this but there is! A few changes and you can make even the busiest morning less stressful. In part  2, we'll share these changes. In the meantime, take a deep breath and try to relax!

References

1. Nebel, K et al. On the neural basis of focused and divided attention. Cognitive Brain Res 2005; 5: 760-776.
2. Petrac DC et al. Differential relationship of recent self-reported stress and acute anxiety with divided attention performance. Stress 2009; 12: 313-319.
3. Wetherell MA and Carter K. The multitasking framework: The effects of increasing workload on acute psychobiological stress reactivity. Stress Health 2013; epub, ahead of print.

In the News: More First-Time Mothers are Receiving Paid Maternity Leave than Ever

In a past post, we shared information about maternity leave practices and laws around the world, including information about requirements and programs offered in the United States. After that blog posted we received several reader comments providing updated parental leave information for several countries. You can read the post and reader comments that followed here.

Recently, there has been some buzz around a news report published by the US Census Bureau about first time mothers’ maternity leave and employment patterns in the United States.

According to the US Census Bureau, more first time mothers than ever before are receiving paid maternity leave. While the maternity leave laws have not changed, there are more moms in the workforce and more mothers using paid leave benefits. New census numbers show 50.8% of new mothers received paid leave between 2006 and 2008. This is up from 43% in 1986-1990. Where did these numbers come from? The US Census Bureau surveyed 3.4 million first time working moms between 2006 and 2008.

While these numbers are encouraging, the US remains only 1 of 3 countries that does not require paid maternity leave. The other 2 are Swaziland and Papua New Guinea.

Other Interesting Findings about First Time Moms’ Employment

• While 2/3 of new moms with college degrees received paid leave, only 19% of mothers without a high school diploma received paid leave.
• The mean age of mothers at the birth of their first child was 25 years; that’s up from 21.4 years in 1970.
• Education level had increased among mothers with almost ¼ completing a Bachelor’s degree or more, compared to only 9% in 1970.
• From 2006-2008, 66% of women worked while pregnant. About the same number worked in the 1980’s, but between 1961-1965, less than half (44%) of women worked during pregnancy.
• Among mothers who worked while pregnant, about 88% worked into their last trimester and 65% worked until the last month of pregnancy.
• Less than 10% returned to work by 3 months postpartum in 1961, whereas almost 45% returned to work by 3 months in 2005-2007.

-Source: US Census Bureau

What have been your experiences with parental leave? How old was your baby when you first returned to work after your baby’s birth? We’d love to hear your stories and thoughts.

Resources and References

For more about the family medical leave act (FMLA) in the United States, click here.

To read the full census report about maternity leave and employment patterns of first- time moms, click here.

Read a previous post about Preparing for Maternity Leave here.

Reader Question: Starting Daycare with a Sensitive Baby

Recently, a reader asked us a question about her 3-month-old daughter. She was worried about starting daycare because the baby didn’t like people other than her parents to hold her. Our reader also was worried that her baby would be afraid because she was too young to understand that her mother was coming back at the end of the day. In this post, we'll review some of the ideas we've shared in the past about sensitive babies, separation, and how babies learn what is safe and what is not.

Sensitive Babies and Daycare

All of us have felt the pull of wanting to be with our babies when we are at work. We know how hard it is to leave babies with other caregivers however much we love and trust those caregivers. But, we also know that babies are born with a desire to learn and socialize with many people, not only their parents. Because your baby cries routinely when held by others, your baby may be quite sensitive to differences in how she is held and to overstimulation. Because your baby is so young, it is unlikely that separation anxiety is happening yet. We’ve provided tips for helping babies deal with separation in an earlier post.

As your baby gets older, she will have more tolerance for being with others, especially those who are familiar to her. Visiting the day care with the baby before the baby starts may be an option to help the baby be more familiar with the surroundings. While your baby might be fussy when you drop her off at daycare, she is likely to settle down quickly and be very excited when you return. Sometimes, she might also let you know that she was not happy that you left (but just for a short time). It will get easier once the routine is established.

Your Baby is Watching You

An important thing to consider is how you feel about your baby’s caregiver. It is important that you find someone that you trust so that you are confident that your baby will be happy with her new caregiver. Remember our posts about “social referencing?” Your baby will look at your face to see if people are “safe” or not. Having a happy, confident look when dropping your baby off, even if your baby becomes a little upset can be an important way to help your baby adjust to daycare and feel safe. Your understanding smile will let your baby know that while she is upset right now, you know she’s about to have a great day.

Bringing Baby to Work (From a Coworker’s Perspective)

By: Jennifer Goldbronn

As our readers are aware, the Human Lactation Center is definitely a baby-friendly workplace. How could we not be when we do research about babies! In the past, we've provided information about deciding if bringing baby to work is right for you and tips to make it work, both focusing on the parent’s perspective. In this post, I’ll focus on the perspective of coworkers, describing my experience when Jen B brought her new baby to work. Charlotte, born last December, started coming to work with Jen B when she was about 8 weeks old and only recently stopped coming in, at about 7 months old. Here are some of the ups and downs we've shared over the past 7 months.

As Baby Behavior experts who’ve conducted dozens of infant behavior trainings over the past year, we were excited to get our daily baby “fix” and enthusiastically looking forward to interacting with Charlotte and watching her cues and other behaviors. After all, my daughter just turned 4, so my personal experience spending all day with a baby was a faded memory.  

We learned a lot from Charlotte. Sure, she tested our patience at times, but ultimately, she reminded us why we do what we do (teach parents to understand their babies’ behavior). Babies are amazingly smart and adept at communicating their needs. Charlotte made it clear when she wanted to play or when she was tired and needed a break from all of us. She also was great at letting Jen know when she had had enough of being at the office!  When she first smiled at us, she melted our hearts, and when she first rolled over at work, we were almost as excited as Jen was. Babies have this amazing drive to connect with all of their caregivers.

The Real World

We also realize that our workplace may be quite different than others. Some organizations are not as family-friendly, and even if your immediate coworkers have approved your bringing your baby to work, other people in neighboring cubicles or offices may not agree. Charlotte was definitely starting to get more active around 6 months and she was losing patience with being confined to her play pen (even for just a few minutes), and putting her on the ground was just not safe anymore. Trying to balance Charlotte’s needs and respect for her coworkers while getting her work done, Jen B started bringing Charlotte into the office for shorter periods, working the rest of the time at home. One day we were informed that when Charlotte cried, it was interfering with a sound-sensitive study being conducted in a neighboring office.  With Charlotte’s ever increasing mobility and the possibility that she was negatively affecting others’ work, it was clear that bringing her to the office wasn’t working anymore.

It’s true: babies can be disruptive and parents are still responsible for getting their work done. Babies use cues, including crying, to tell parents what they need, and sometimes that communication can be pretty noisy! Parents need to be sensitive to how this can affect other coworkers. Coworkers or supervisors may agree to the arrangement at first and then change their minds if they feel like productivity is affected too much. The Parenting in the Workplace Institute currently studies programs where mothers are allowed to bring their babies to work. They note that, in general, babies come to work until about 6 to 8 months of age, or until they are crawling. After that, safety and liability issues grow and it’s more challenging to get work done while you chase an older, mobile baby.  Realizing that you probably won’t get as much work done with your baby present, some organizations offer a reduced schedule or reduced pay while parents bring their babies to work.

Written policies can be helpful to protect both parents and coworkers. The important thing is to try to anticipate and address potential issues ahead of time. Some companies set up rules as to where babies will be fed or changed, where diapers will be disposed of (who wants a stinky office!), and where parents will take their babies when there is prolonged crying.  Several companies also have parents designate 1 or 2 coworkers in advance to be “helpers” and watch the baby for short periods if the parent needs to take care of something solo. (In our office, we all were designated “helpers”!)

In the end, Charlotte taught us a lot, and she was cared for by a small group of moms who really cared about her and getting their work done.  Have you been in a workplace where a baby was brought in? Share your experience with us!

Choosing a Child Care Provider

According to the CDC, nearly 66% of infants in the United States are cared for by someone other than their parents on a regular basis, half in child care centers and the other half in home-based care (child care provider or family member).  In the past, Kerri has written about her experience going back to work after the birth of her daughter, Jen B has provided tips for deciding if you should bring your baby to work and tips to make working with baby easier, and Jen G posted information about secondary caregivers of children in various countries around the world. Given that so many babies in the US are cared for outside of the home, the majority of parents must take on the important and daunting task of finding a child care provider whom they trust with their young child. It can be hard to know where to start when making such a significant decision. What questions should you ask? What should you look for when seeking a trustworthy caregiver or daycare center?  In today’s post, we will examine some vital questions to consider while searching for a childcare provider or center for your baby.

• Don’t wait too long to start looking for child care for your baby. Many centers have a lengthy waiting list that could be a year or more in length – though it may seem premature, getting on the wait list while you’re still pregnant is necessary for some centers.

• If you are pregnant or have a newborn and are considering childcare for your infant it can be helpful to make a list of questions and important things to look for before touring the centers.  A list can help ensure you don’t forget your questions!

• Before committing to any center, tour it without your baby so you can observe the teachers without getting distracted by your own baby.  If possible, arrange to visit during a snack or lunch break - pay special attention to how they accommodate younger babies who are not yet eating solids while the older infants are eating.  If you feel comfortable with the provider, go back with your baby one more time and plan to spend at least an hour to observe.

• If you are breastfeeding, you will need to find out how breast milk is handled at the childcare facility.  Many centers require you to bring the milk in bottles, and other centers may accept it in bags. Ask if the milk can be brought frozen or just refrigerated. Also make sure to inquire about how the milk is heated (milk should be heated in warm water, NOT in the microwave because it can cause hot spots that can burn the baby). The center may have specific ways they would like the milk to be labeled so that there are no mix-ups! 

• For breastfeeding moms, find out if there is a private place for you to nurse your baby at the childcare center. If you work nearby, you may decide to come to the center at your lunch break to drop off more milk or to feed the baby yourself.

• Ask the providers how they know when to feed a baby.  Do they only use strict schedules or use crying as a sign of hunger or do they look for other cues? How do they determine when a baby is full or finished eating? Also, once you choose a provider, don’t be afraid to tell them how your baby shows hunger and fullness cues. 

• Ask about how the facility handles multiple babies’ feeding and napping schedules.  Do they want the infant to conform to their schedule, or does the center adapt to each infant’s schedule?  This may be an important aspect that contributes to your decision choose a provider or to keep looking.

• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be put to sleep on their backs to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. During your visit, pay attention to how other infants are put to sleep and discuss how babies are positioned to sleep with the provider to be sure that this recommendation is followed.

• Help your provider by sharing how you know your baby is drowsy or overstimulated. This will make the first few weeks easier until the provider gets to know your baby and can pick up on the cues herself. 

• Ask about the provider’s policy about parents calling to check on their babies.  There may be some times that are better to call than others and just a quick over-the-phone confirmation that your baby is doing well can ease your mind. 

Remember, there are many childcare centers; if you don’t feel comfortable at one, keep looking.  Don’t feel like you need to settle on one because it’s convenient or close to your home or work. There may be other options available that more closely meet family’s needs. 

Placing your infant in childcare can be a difficult transition for both you and your baby.  Working with your childcare provider ahead of time can make the process easier for everyone!  

Bringing Baby to Work (Part 2): Tips to Make it Work

In today’s post we conclude our series on bringing your baby to work. Last week, we provided a list of issues to address when deciding whether bringing your baby with you to work is right for your family. If after these considerations, bringing your child with you is the best option, then you will want to consider the following tips on how to balance the ever precarious see-saw of employment and parenting at the same time. As you may know, I was able to bring both of my daughters with me to work when they were infants. Today, we are sharing some tips from our experience of having my daughters in the office over the last 3 years.

• You may feel like you aren’t giving 100% attention to your job or your baby at all times. THIS IS NORMAL. Even if your baby was at day care, you’d still be thinking about her while separated. To achieve a sense of balance, I try to spend a few minutes just playing with Charlotte several times each day and when she’s napping I work on my most important tasks. That way I am giving both my work and my daughter one-on-one attention at various points through the day.
  
• There will be days when you get a lot done and others when you don’t. I have found that making a list of my tasks helps a lot. Every morning, I write everything I have to do, even the smallest tasks, on a piece of paper and cross each item off as it is completed. For me, having the piece of paper right in front of me keeps me focused and seeing items crossed off makes me feel I accomplished something.
  
• Having a flexible work schedule makes it much easier. When Charlotte was younger, she didn’t mind being in the office all day, but now that she’s getting more mobile and social, I have found that she can handle being in the office for only about 5 hours before she has a meltdown. To make it easier on her (and on me and my coworkers), I have been leaving the office a few hours early and continue working from home while she naps in her crib. There have been many days when she needs my full attention, so on these days, I just stop working until my husband gets home and then start working again after dinner. There are also days when I have work deadlines and I can’t be distracted. On these days, my husband stays home or I ask a friend to babysit.
  
• Like we’ve mentioned many times, babies love routines. Establishing work-time routines may be beneficial for both you and your baby. For example, you can feed her in the same place each time, take a walk during lunch, and aim for naps at the same time each day. While you might not be able to stick to the routines 100% of the time, trying to keep some things the same will help your baby know what to expect, and can help you plan your day better.
  
• Keep duplicate baby gear in your office. If I had to lug around a play mat, bouncy chair, pack of diapers, blankets, toys, etc. back and forth from my car to the office, I’d probably have bigger biceps by now – but fortunately I don’t have to. I already have to carry Charlotte, her stroller, my work laptop and lunch, so I find that keeping extras stored under my desk limits the cumbersome lugging of baby gear each day.
  
• Last But NOT Least - Ask for help! Getting help from my coworkers makes my workday much smoother and it seems that there is always someone eager to hold or play with the baby.

While I know that what works for me may not work for everyone, I think the most important thing is to try different solutions to see what works best for you – each baby is different and the balance between work and mothering will continue to be game of trial and error. My daughters’ temperaments and physiological maturity were very different so even though I thought I knew what to expect from my experience with Olivia, Charlotte has been a new and different challenge. These are just a few of the tips I have from my personal experience, but we know there are many moms out there with stories and experiences bringing their child to work. We would love to hear your tips or funny stories about bringing your baby to work!

Bringing Baby to Work (Part 1): Is it right for you?

We know what it’s like to come back to work after having a baby. We have been through the process of getting reoriented at work and the struggle of adjusting to new routines, both at home and in the work place.

I returned to work 8 weeks after having each of my daughters, and although this is common among moms I know, my experience has been a little different because I bring my young baby with me to the office. When I tell people about this arrangement, they react in one of two ways – they either tell me I am very lucky or look at me like I’m crazy. The reality is somewhere in between. Yes, I get to spend all day with Charlotte, and I don’t have to worry about how she is being cared for, but there are days when it is challenging to balance work and parenting.

In the past, we’ve posted tips about preparing for maternity leave and returning to work, but if you think you may want to bring your baby to work with you, you will need to do some additional planning. Here are some factors you may want to consider when deciding if bringing your baby to work is right for you:

Company Policy

The first thing you should do is review your company’s policy and discuss your idea with your boss. Unfortunately, if your employer will not allow children in the workplace, there isn’t anything you can do. If you find that there is no policy in place, you can discuss the pros and cons with your boss to determine if it is possible to try it out. If your boss seems hesitant, maybe he or she would be willing to let you have trial period of 1-2 weeks to see if the arrangement works for everyone involved.

Environment
Even beyond obvious safety concerns, there are aspects of the physical environment you should consider. First, consider the size of your workspace. Babies (and their stuff) can take up a lot of room. I keep a bouncy chair and a play mat in our office for Charlotte and every day I bring a diaper bag and breast pump with me. The chair and mat fold up when not being used, but they still take up some space. I’d also like to bring in a pack-n-play, but there isn’t room. If your office is small or if you share space, you may find that storing items in the office isn’t an option. If there is room for a chair or play mat, you need to make sure that they can be put in a safe place, close to you, without blocking any walkways. In addition to space limitations, you should take into account noise, temperature, and other things that may make your baby uncomfortable. For example, if your workplace is very noisy, your baby may have a hard time taking a nap and may become overstimulated quickly.

The cultural environment is also something that should be factored into your decision. How will your coworkers react to having a baby around? Will the baby impact their ability to do their jobs? In a perfect world, everyone would band together to help with the baby, but in reality, that may not be the case.

Job Duties
Even if your workspace and workplace culture can accommodate a baby, there are some job duties that may not be compatible with caring for a baby. Making a list of all your daily tasks can help you predict how caring for your baby may impact your job (notice I say predict, there is no way to know for sure). For example, a fussy baby and a conference call don’t mix!

Even though you and your baby will probably develop a routine at work (just like at home) you will need to be able to switch from baby care to work duties and back at a moment’s notice. If you’ve read any of our past posts, you know that babies can behave unpredictably, so flexibility is very important. There are days when I just pack up and go home by lunch time because Charlotte isn’t happy or comfortable in my office. Most of the time she settles down once we get home and I continue to work there.

Back-up Plan
Despite all of your planning and preparation, you may find that bringing your baby to work isn’t right for you. And, even if it works most of the time, there will be days when you will not be able to have your baby with you, so it is good to have a back-up plan. I have a few friends who I can ask to help out when I have meetings or deadlines. I have also researched day cares in my area, just in case I need to stop bringing Charlotte with me.

There are many jobs and work environments that are not suitable for the kind of arrangement I have and bringing a baby to work is not right for everyone. If you think you might be in a position where you can bring your new baby to work, we hope that the list we’ve provided today will help you in making that decision. If you already bring your baby or child to work, we’d love to hear about your experience, so send us a comment!

Going Back to Work

Every mother dreads the time when she has to go back to work and leave her newborn baby with someone else. No matter when you go back to work, it seems like you are never quite ready to leave your baby in someone else’s care.

When it is time to go back to work after the birth of your baby, there are many things to consider. Where will you pump, what will your schedule be, how are you going to get you and your baby ready every morning and make it to work on time?

When I went back to work at my last job after having my daughter, Elisabeth, I ended up with a horrible schedule: 9:30-6:30. This made evenings very complicated. I had to be very organized. My husband and I would spend Sundays making dinners for the week and freezing them. This made it easy to come home from work and heat up a good, healthy meal. I would also pack my lunch the night before so I had more time in the mornings to nurse and spend time with my baby.

The weeks seemed to fly by and all of a sudden my newborn baby was 3 ½ months old and had to go to “school.” We were just starting to get into a real routine and I was learning all of her cues. I felt like 3 months wasn’t enough time to bond with her before I had to go back to work.
I was working at a preschool at the time and she was able to go into their infant room. Even though I knew the people who would be watching her, I still had questions and concerns. “How would they know when she was hungry?” “Would she get enough attention with so many other babies around?” “Could they care for her the way I would?”

I talked with many new mothers who had these same concerns. Going back to work after 6, 8, 10 weeks or later is hard on any mother. You may experience guilt from leaving your baby with someone else. If it is possible, return to work on a reduced schedule or see if you can telecommute. If you can't cut back on work, ask your partner, family, or friends to help you get organized (like making meals ahead of time) so that you and your baby will have more time together when you are home.

Another tough part of going back to work is dealing with the lack of sleep. For tips on how to deal with sleep deprivation, see Jen G’s blog post (http://www.secretsofbabybehavior.com/2009/07/part-2-tips-from-trenches-surviving.html).

Remember to take care of yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, a couple of hours with a friend or your significant other, or go for a walk without your baby for a short while. Little things like this can make you feel better about yourself.

Tips for returning to work: About a month before returning to work, talk to your employer to confirm starting dates and schedules and to discuss longer break schedules to pump/breastfeed. You will also need to find a private, sanitary place to pump and store your milk. Also, try scheduling your doctor appointments ahead of time so you can give your employer plenty of notice when you will need time off.

About a week before returning, talk to your employer about what your job duties will be once you return. This way you won’t be surprised on your first day.

Articles that I found helpful:

http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/balance/Welcome_Back_Returning_to_Work_After_Your_Maternity_Leave__20060830-011354.html?subtopic=Work+and+Motherhood

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/working-life/WL00034

Next time: We'll be sharing some real challenges we've had to face as new mothers.