Babies’ Emotional Development: The Power of Synchrony

There is something magical about the very first time that your 3-month-old looks into your eyes and you can see what he is feeling. Your instincts take over and in a fraction of a second, you are looking back at your baby and changing your expression, reflecting the emotion that you see. These moments are some of the most powerful in parents' lives. Few opportunities come along in life that make you feel so connected to another human being. It is in these moments that you and your baby achieve what developmental scientists refer to as "synchrony." The ability to achieve synchrony with caregivers is an important way that babies learn how to express their feelings. In this post, we’ll share some research about how synchrony works.

A Special Relationship

We’ve told you in several posts about the importance of babies' social connection with parents. By the time a baby is 6-weeks-old, she is able to smile and makes noises at nearly everyone she sees. The smiles that she gets in return fill her with excitement and she is rewarded for exploring her world. Sometime around 3-months of age (and you all know that babies develop at their own pace), babies start to focus their efforts for connection on their special caregivers - mothers, fathers, and others who provide their care nearly every day. It is with these caregivers that babies achieve “synchrony.”

Moments of Attunement

Technically, synchrony is described as “a coordinated interaction between caregiver and infant, who respond to each other with split-second timing.” (Berger, 2003) When we use our faces to reflect our babies’ joy, surprise, concern, or sadness, they see and feel the connection between facial expressions and emotions. When we talk to them about what we see (“did the balloon surprise you?), we help them connect their feelings with words. Our instincts will tell us to exaggerate our expressions as we help our babies learn about emotions and our instincts are right! Babies respond better when we make our responses a little bigger than what we see.

The Magic of Play

When your baby was a newborn, he spent much of his alert moments staring at your face and struggling to copy what he saw. Once your baby begins to experience more of his world, it is your turn to be the one to reflect what you see. We’ve already shared how important playtime can be for your baby’s development. Along with the physical and cognitive growth that comes with playing with your baby, playtime can also be the most important time for synchrony. When your baby becomes excited by a new toy, you can use your face and words to show and tell him what he is feeling. The little repetitive games that delight your baby also offer opportunities for connection. Just remember to watch for cues that let you know when your baby is tired or overwhelmed by all the fun. By balancing moments of synchrony with needed breaks from the action, you are helping your baby learn to understand feelings, connections, and that his world is a wonderful and exciting place.

References:

Berger KS. The Developing Person. New York, Worth Publishers, 2003.

Stern DN. The Interpersonal World of the Infant. New York, Basic Books, 1985.

Summer Safety

It’s mid-July and here in California’s Central Valley that means it is HOT! Because we know that many of our readers are experiencing summer heat too, we thought it would be good to use today’s post to provide information about summer safety for babies!

Keeping Baby Cool

Being too hot is very uncomfortable and, unlike adults, babies can’t do much to cool themselves off. Chances are if you are hot, so is your baby. Here are some tips for keeping baby cool when it’s hot outside:

• Dress baby in lightweight clothes, like onsies or t-shirts and shorts, made out of breathable fabric.

• Be cautious in the car – Even with the air conditioner on, babies can get really hot in the car. The padding and fabric used in car seats don’t allow for much air flow, and when put in the rear-facing position babies may not be exposed to the cool air from the air conditioning vents. To keep baby as cool as possible, minimize sun exposure by putting a shade in the window or positioning the car seat in the middle seat, furthest from the window. If you are going to be in the car for an extended period of time, stop periodically and make sure your baby isn’t getting too hot and, when possible, avoid car rides during the hottest parts of the day.

• Safe sleep – Remove the bumper from the crib to maximize air flow. You can also use a fan to keep the air circulating in the room while your baby sleeps. Thick blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals should not be kept in the crib with a sleeping baby.

• Hydration – Babies can get dehydrated quickly when it’s hot, but for babies under 6 months, the amount of breast milk or formula they are drinking is usually enough liquid to provide all the hydration they need. If you are concerned about dehydration, talk to your pediatrician.

• A little water and some plastic cups are all you need to turn your bathtub into a fun, cool, sun-free “pool.” If your baby isn’t sitting on her own, you can get in with her!

Sun Safety

Babies can get sunburned after just a few minutes in the sun and studies have shown that sun exposure during childhood is related to future risk of skin cancer, so it’s important to protect your baby when playing outside.

• The AAP recommends that infants younger than 6 months be kept out of direct sunlight and should avoid wearing sunscreen unless shade or protective clothing is unavailable.

• After 6 months of age, put sunscreen on your baby anytime she’s playing outside. Hats and protective clothing should be used when appropriate to provide further sun protection.

• When choosing sunscreen, choose one that is SPF 15 or higher, and labeled “broad-spectrum” because it protects against multiple types of UV rays. When applying sunscreen, follow the directions carefully to maximize effectiveness. It is best to apply it 30 minutes before going outside so that it has time to start working!

• UV rays are most intense on summer days, between 10am and 4pm. To minimize exposure, plan your outside play for early in the morning or in the evening.

• Sand, concrete, and water reflect sunlight and increase exposure, so be extra cautious when playing on or near these surfaces.

• The UV rays that cause skin damage are still present when it is cloudy or overcast. Sunscreen, protective hats and clothing, and sun shades should still be used even if it isn’t bright and sunny.

• It may take her some getting used to, but wearing sunglasses with UV protection will help keep your baby’s eyes safe.

Playing outside is a great way for your baby to explore the world and develop motor skills. We hope these tips help you and your baby have a fun and exciting summer, even when it’s hot out!

References:

American Academy of Pediatrics, Committee on Environmental Health. Ultraviolet Light: A Hazard to Children. Pediatrics. 1999:104(2)328-332

Balk SJ, the Council on Environmental Health and Section on Dermatology. Ultraviolet Radiation: AHazard to Children and Adolecents. Pediatrics. 2011:127(3);e791-e871.

www.Healthychildren.org

Reader Question: Visiting Friends with our Baby

Last week we received the following question from one of our readers:

When my daughter was about 9 mos old we visited a good friend of mine that didn't have any kids at the time. The visit was SO stressful because I spent the whole time chasing my very active baby around their house trying to keep her out of their "breakables." My friend has invited us back several times since, but it was so hard the first time that I don't want to go back! How can I tell her that (or make the visit less stressful for me) without offending her?

When we read this question, we immediately identified with this mother’s situation. As mothers of young children ourselves, we each had a story to share of our own challenging visits to friends or family members’ houses that were not exactly “baby friendly.” Personally, I flashed back to a recent vacation we took to visit my best friend in Southern California (hopefully she’s not reading this!). I love my friend, but she and her husband don’t have kids and thus, their beautiful home is decorated with fragile (i.e. tempting) objects. My daughter has never been the type to sit still, and somehow she has it in her mind that “no” actually means “yes.” So, I spent the entire 4 day visit keeping my child from breaking something, making a mess or falling down their very steep staircase. Does this sound like a relaxing vacation to you?

At first I was afraid to say anything to my friend, so I tried reasoning with my daughter instead, saying “those aren’t okay to touch. Let’s play over here.” Then I would show her a safer area to play in. Redirecting her worked for awhile, but after 2 days, I needed a break! Finally, at my wits end, I asked if we could put some of the more delicate items up and out of reach. My friend said “no problem” and I relaxed a bit.

Since you can’t expect your mobile baby or toddler to sit still for long periods of time or not touch anything when they are driven to explore their environment, nor tell a friend or relative that you do not want to visit them because of the way their house is arranged or decorated, we’ve come up with a few things you can do to make the visit easier on everyone.

1. Ask your friend or family member if breakable items can be put up higher and out of the reach of your baby. Some people without children may not realize that babies as young as 9-months-old can pull themselves up on furniture and reach for items near them.

2. Bring a play pen with toys and books so your baby has safe activities to do. Keep the play pen near you and pack it with your child’s favorite toys to keep his interest.

3. Put a blanket on the floor with books and toys. That way you can sit and engage your baby and socialize with your visitors at the same time.

4. If you are really worried about going to someone else’s house, ask if your friends could come over to your house. Your child will feel more comfortable in his own home and you will be able to relax knowing he can move around freely.

5. If you are visiting around your child’s bedtime remember to bring pajamas and a blanket. Try to stay with your child’s normal bedtime schedule and routine even if you are away from home and be sure there is a safe sleeping space available for your child.

6. Bring a safety gate with you to block off dangerous staircases or rooms that have many breakables. While you’re at it, pack a few power outlet covers.

Remember, babyhood and toddlerhood fly by. Soon, you will be able to take your child on visits just about anywhere without worrying about her destroying your host’s home. Instead, you’ll just have to worry about reminding your newly potty trained child to use the big girl potty so that she doesn’t have an accident on your Aunt’s new white carpet. I guess this job called parenthood never really ends!

Making the Most of Your Baby's New Holiday Toys

Over the last few weeks, we've celebrated several gift-giving holidays and babies all over the world have received new toys, blankets, clothes, books, and other gifts from well-intentioned friends and family. My children were babies more than 20 years ago and I am amazed how many toys today move, spin, flash, blink, and sparkle. Most of them seem to make endless electronic noises. Thank goodness for the on/off switch! Given that many parents are looking at shiny new toys on shelves and in boxes these days, we thought we would share some ideas on how to make the most of these gifts while interacting with your baby.

Eight Tips for Making the Most of New Toys

1. Follow age recommendations. These days, toys are clearly marked by age group. The age groups are based on the typical abilities and behaviors of babies at each age. Even if you think that your baby is advanced (and we know you all do!), you might find that your baby becomes frustrated or bored with a toy if she doesn't have the skills needed to play with it.


2. Check for hazards. Make sure that your baby's toys are not small enough to be a choking hazard and that they can't break apart into small dangerous pieces. Also, you'll want to check the Internet to make sure the toys have not been recalled for any reason.


3. Let your baby use all of her senses. Remember that young babies learn best when they can use all of their senses. Babies are typically interested in toys made of bright primary colors but most babies want to do more with toys than just look at them. Even young babies will try to touch, smell, and taste the toys within their reach. Pick some safe toys and let your baby explore!
   
4. Rotate those toys! Babies love variety in toys' size, shape, texture and color. They may be particularly fascinated by differences between objects. As your baby's interest fades, you might find that trading for a toy that is much larger or smaller, with a different color or texture, will hold your baby's interest longer. The bigger the difference between toys, the better. You don't need a lot of toys, just variety. Rotate the toys when your baby is still alert but seems to be bored. Don't overdo it or you may find that your baby is overstimulated. Watch for cues that your baby needs a break from playing.


5. Baby's favorite toys don't have to be expensive. Many parents have spent money on the latest "must-have" toy only to find that the baby prefers the box the toy came in. Babies don't need fancy toys. Babies can be happy playing with a set of measuring cups. Just remember to vary the size, shape, color, and texture and your baby is likely to be happy to play with whatever you give to her. Remember, she's not impressed by labels or price tags!


6. Talk to your baby about her new toys. Your baby loves to hear the sound of your voice and she is eager to learn about language and words. Tell your baby about the colors and shapes she sees and the sounds she hears. The more you talk about her toys in a happy sing-song voice, the more your baby will listen and learn.


7. Encourage your baby to move. Any toy can be used to encourage your baby to be active. Newborns will try to follow toys by moving their eyes and bodies; older babies will reach, creep, crawl and eventually walk to get to toys. All babies need activity, even young babies need some time to play each day on their tummies with their hands and legs free to move.
   
8. You are your baby's favorite toy! Babies love to be held and entertained by repetitive rhymes and games. Games like peek-a-boo and "where's your nose?" will keep your baby happy long after she's lost interest in her shiny and loud gifts. Your time and loving attention mean a lot more to your baby than the holiday packages. Most of all, new toys are far more exciting for your baby when you are nearby to share the fun.

What was your baby's favorite holiday toy?

Next time: We'll have another baby quiz!