Showing posts with label temperament. Show all posts
Showing posts with label temperament. Show all posts

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Choosing the Right Gift for Baby

There are many holiday celebrations this time of year and babies as well as older children and adults are being showered with gifts. Some of those gifts will become treasured possessions and others will end up being recycled or re gifted. While packaging for toys and other baby products include age guidelines, we thought we would suggest that gift-givers also consider babies' personalities when choosing presents.

For Active Babies

Active babies are driven to explore using all of their senses and their favorite toys will inspire them to investigate.
  • Rattles with several types of materials (for younger babies)
  • Toys that roll, bounce, or slide
  • Toys that babies can crawl or climb over or through (for older babies)
  • Baby musical instruments (pots and pans work well!)

For Social Babies

Your company is going to be your babies greatest gift so any gift that promotes time together will be well-loved.

  • Books
  • Simple age appropriate games
  • Finger puppets
  • Recorded music so that you and your baby can dance!
For Shy Babies

Shy babies often enjoy toys that allow them to play on their own such as objects they can manipulate and explore without help from others. Of course, they'll want their parents to stay nearby.
  • Play mats and mobiles (for younger babies)
  • Simple puzzles
  • Lift the flap or other interactive books
  • Blocks or other stackable toys
For Sensitive Babies

It seems that every toy sold today has flashing lights, noise, and vibration. For babies who are sensitive to the world around them, these toys might be overwhelming. Instead of these toys, we suggest the following:
  • Soft manipulative toys without loud sounds or lights
  • Baby dolls
  • Stuffed animals
  • Blocks
Which gifts have been your babies' favorites?


Next Time: Too Much Fun: How to Avoid Overstimulating Babies and Toddlers

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Reader Question: Dealing with “Brave” Babies

Another of our readers asked “My baby is not afraid of anything, dogs, heights, people, the oven, nothing. She's just trying to take steps. Any way to make her more cautious?”

I certainly know what it is like to have a fearless child. One afternoon when my son was 2 years old, I was at a backyard party. When I put him down for a moment, he darted off and jumped into the pool which was just a few feet away. Since he couldn’t swim, I immediately jumped in with all my clothes on and pulled him out. As I put him up on the edge of the pool and reached up to pull myself out, he jumped in again! He was just so sure that he could do anything if he tried! Needless to say, I held him with one hand on the edge as I finally got out of the pool. Yes, my son was fearless, frighteningly so. Unfortunately, your baby is not likely to change anytime soon. A better strategy is to accept your baby’s personality and be prepared.

As we’ve mentioned in a previous post, infants are born with a set of personality traits that form their temperament. While many of these traits may change over time, others remain. With fearless babies and toddlers, it is essential that parents are constantly on the lookout for danger. Since your baby is just starting to take steps, you should baby-proof your home now as if your baby was already walking. Any time you leave your home, make sure that you look around every environment to see what your baby might get into. The moment your baby reaches, steps, or jumps towards danger, you’ll need to be there to scoop her up. Make sure that you tell anyone who cares for your baby about her boldness, even if you are nearby. Many people expect that babies’ would be naturally afraid of dogs, ovens, or heights, but many are not. Infants are not capable of responding to reasoning or discipline and their curiosity and drive to explore will win every time. It is far safer to rely on removal of potential dangers and redirection when your baby is headed for trouble.

As your child gets older, you will be able to teach her what she can and cannot do but even toddlers can’t respond quickly enough to your words to be safe if there is immediate danger. Toddlers don’t have a lot of control over their bodies and impulses so your daughter will still need you to help her stay out of harm’s way. As she learns more about the world, your daughter will become more cautious but maybe never as cautious as you would like her to be. Your daughter is likely to be an adventurer for many years to come. In the meantime, finding safe ways to encourage her explorations might be easier on both of you. Lots of activity in secure baby-proofed places will help her (and you) get some well deserved peace.

Next time: More answers to readers’ questions!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Babies with Personality! How Temperament Influences Babies' Relationships (Part 2)

In the last post, we described some of the traits that might be used to describe a baby’s temperament. Early on in babies’ lives, parents begin to notice their babies’ rhythms, reactions, and idiosyncrasies and how these characteristics combine to form their baby’s unique personality.

Developing relationships with babies can be confusing. There is no guarantee that our babies will be anything like we are, or our sister’s babies, or even our other children. You might be a highly social person who loves the excitement of travel and new experiences but you find your baby withdraws from relatives and cries or clings when brought into a new environment. Does that mean your traveling days are over and that you need to limit family visits? No! As with all relationships, the bond you have with your baby includes give and take, as well as ongoing compromise and acceptance. The most important thing you can do for your baby (and ultimately for yourself) is to understand your differences and be ready to help your baby fit into the lifestyle that works for you. When you understand and accept your baby’s traits, you can make appropriate modifications to your day-to-day activities that will keep you both happier.

You can help a shy baby by taking transitions a little slower, bringing familiar toys along with you when you go to new places, and being ready with calming repetitive words when the inevitable fussing starts. You can ask your relatives to give the baby a little time before they reach to hold him (this can be tough on grandma!).When you respond to your baby’s temperament with understanding and compassion, he learns that you will help him stay calm.

Here are some other ideas how you can take steps to help babies with different traits:

  • An active baby will need lots of supervision and you’ll need to baby-proof your home when your baby is still very young
  • A highly “regular” baby who thrives on routines will need to keep to a schedule as much as possible
  • Intense babies who are not very adaptable will take longer than other babies to calm down so you’ll need to be patient while soothing your baby
  • A baby who is not distractible won’t leave objects alone unless they are completely out of sight; it is best to look around carefully and put all of the worrisome things away

You can try to fight against your baby’s traits but you’ll find it to be a losing battle. Your baby isn’t trying to control you; your baby is just trying to get by with the tools he was born with.

If you find your baby is still a mystery to you, read over the descriptions of some of the traits from the last post. Imagine how the world looks from your baby’s perspective. Consider what changes in your activities and routines might make things easier for both of you. Again, you don’t have to transform your life completely, and some adjustments will be needed only until your baby is bit older. Many early baby traits will change, sometimes quite a bit. The little things you do each day to help your baby feel secure and safe will go a long way helping you build a loving bond. Even if your baby’s traits don’t change, the more secure your baby feels when he’s with you, the more readily he will learn to adapt to your world.

Next time: It Takes Two Baby: How Babies and Parents Learn about Each Other

Monday, November 30, 2009

Babies with Personality! How Temperament Influences Babies' Relationships (Part I)

In previous posts, we’ve described behaviors seen in every baby such as states, cues, and changing sleep patterns. Of course, every parent knows that babies are individuals, full of special qualities solely their own. Parents spend much of the first few months of their babies’ lives learning, often the hard way, about their newborns’ “temperament,” the special combination of traits that form each baby’s unique personality. Some of these traits are ingrained in babies at birth and others are influenced by their interactions with the world around them.

In this post, we’ll describe some of the traits commonly used by researchers and health care providers to assess infants’ temperament. This list is not complete and different researchers and doctors can have different names for some of these traits. We are using this list only to give you an idea of some of the specific traits you might want to look for in your baby. Before I go over the details, you should know that many babies’ traits change over time, some shift slightly and others change radically. No matter how well we think we know our children, there are always a few surprises around the corner.

Some of the Elements of Temperament

1. Activity refers to how much babies move around when given a chance. A highly active baby will be constantly on the move, kicking his legs and squirming excitedly as a newborn and climbing up on anything he can when he gets older. The less active newborn will be content to lie quietly watching a mobile or sit in your lap listening to a several books when she gets older.
2. Regularity refers to how easily babies develop and stick with routines. Babies with more regularity develop their own internal rhythms, tending to eat, sleep, and play at consistent times throughout the day and night. Other babies just can’t seem to settle into a schedule no matter how much parents work on developing a steady routine.
3. Approach-Withdrawal refers to the willingness of babies to interact with new people, toys, or environments. Some babies are excited to see new faces and places, others shy away, burrow into mom or dad’s shoulder or turn away from any new person or activity.
4. Adaptability refers to how quickly babies’ adjust to new experiences. Even babies who initially withdraw from new situations will differ in how long it takes before they get comfortable. Adaptable babies will settle down quickly when they meet new people or are brought to new places. Less adaptable babies take a long time to feel comfortable in new situations.
5. Intensity refers to the strength of babies’ emotions when dealing with the world around them. Some babies shriek hysterically when they are unhappy and others just whine. Happy babies can show differences in intensity too! Some happy babies will giggle with glee while others just smile.
6. Sensory Threshold refers to how much sensory input is needed to get a response from a baby. Some babies are highly sensitive to noises, smells, and bright lights while others are not.
7. Distractibility refers to how easily babies can be distracted from unpleasant or dangerous things. For example, some babies are easily redirected away from the dog’s water dish by a toy or a book and others will keep crawling back, no matter what parents do to distract them.
8. Attention Span refers to how long babies stay focused on something that interests them. Some children are content to play with blocks or a single toy for a long time, others quickly shift their attention from one toy or activity to another.

To help you get a better picture of how these traits fit together, I’ll tell you about my own babies (they are both in their 20s now). In an earlier post, I told you that my daughter was a persistent crier (for about 4 months), and I learned later she had a very low sensory threshold. She was active, but not overly so, intense in her responses (both happy and sad), slow to approach new situations, but quite adaptable once she was familiar with people or places. She thrived on routine and developed consistent patterns for sleeping and eating quite early in her life. She had a surprisingly long attention span and was never distractible if she really wanted something.

In contrast, my son was highly active, rarely cried, was not as intense as his sister in his responses to the world, loved new people and places, had a relatively high sensory threshold, and was easily distracted away from dangerous things. Like his sister, he had a long attention span. He also adapted readily to new situations but was not very good about eating and sleeping according to any kind of routine.

Surprisingly, very different temperaments can emerge in children from the same family. My daughter might have been considered a more “difficult” baby than my son but her intense concentration and interest in the world has resulted in her being the scholar in the family. My highly active, adaptable son is one of the captains of his college baseball team.

If you know what to look for, infancy and childhood are full of hints about the adults your children will become. For now, learning about your baby’s temperament can help you feel a lot more confident that you are the expert when it comes to taking care of your baby.

Next time: We’ll take a closer look at how a baby’s temperament influences her relationships with her parents and other caregivers.