Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! We'd like to welcome you back to our blog! We took some time off for the holidays, but now we are back. For those of you new to our blog, welcome! We would like to start the new year off with a little tutorial about how our blog works and where you can find "The Basics" of Baby Behavior, which is a great series of posts to start with if you are new, or if you haven't been around here in a while. You can begin with our overviews on your baby's cues, crying, and sleep patterns.

Everything else we've posted is available to you and there are a few ways you can find what you are looking for.

• On the left side, in the section titled Blog Archive, you can find links to every blog we've posted (the titles of each blog are listed with the most recent at the top).
• If you have a specific topic you are interested in, you can use the keyword links, in the Labels section, to find related entries.
• If you just want to browse full entries, you can use the older posts link at the bottom right of the page. This link will take you through the posts, beginning with the most recent.

We hope that you find the information we've provided useful. If you don't find what you are looking for or if you have any questions, please send us a comment. We love to answer our readers' questions and are always accepting new ideas for future posts!

Bringing Your Toddler to Holiday Parties

By Jennifer Goldbronn

Last time, we shared some tips for making it easier for you and your baby to deal with the hustle and bustle of holiday gatherings. What about older babies and toddlers? What can you do to help them stay calm and happy? Here are some ideas to keep in mind.

1. Older babies have great memories! They remember if Aunt Rita always tries to take them away from you for that big hug. Family members are often very excited to see your baby! This can come across a bit scary to a baby that has someone rushing up to them and excitedly clapping or talking to them in a high pitched voice. Babies also remember how their parents reacted to certain family members. If you tense up when Aunt Rita comes running toward you, your baby will see your tension and learn that you think that Aunt Rita is scary too!

2. Toddlers learn about their world by creating scripts in their minds for common occurrences (like bedtime or getting dressed) and by assigning “jobs” to the people in their lives (i.e. every night Dad gives me a bath, mom reads me a story). For people that your baby does not see very often, babies may be more apprehensive with them because they don’t know what their job is.

3. As older babies gain the ability to move away from their caregiver (crawl, walk, etc.), they also develop an instinct that tells them to stay close to their caregiver. This is important for their safety but can also make family gatherings challenging when everyone wants to hold your baby.

Tips for navigating holiday gatherings

Now that you understand why older babies behave the way they do in these types of situations, we want to share some tips to help you through the upcoming holiday season!

·         Explain what you know about your baby and set boundaries with family members. Make sure they give your baby time to warm up first.

·         Watch your own facial expressions and body language. If you are worried that a particular family member will rush up and try to grab her from you before she is ready, your baby will know! You may be nervous or frustrated for other reasons and these feelings show as well. If you enter a party rushed and stressed, your baby will see it in your face and may become upset when introduced to people right away. So, try to smile and relax when introducing your baby to people!

·         Create a routine for when you see family members and talk her your toddler though it. Tell her what she is about to see and do. Your family members might think it is odd, but they will get used to it after a while. For example, whenever you get to a new party, sing the same song before you go in the door and introduce your child to everyone in the same way.

·         Change your expectations. Knowing your baby’s normal development at this age, don’t be surprised if he or she wants to stay near you the whole time! It’s OK! If others want to hold her, have them stay close by so that your baby can still see you. Given time and familiarity, your toddler eventually will calm down and enjoy the party too.

Bringing Your Baby to Holiday Parties

The holidays are here again and for some of you, it will be your first holiday season as parents. We have a few posts that you might want to review as you get ready for family dinners and other holiday events.

1. Learn why your baby might shy away from loving friends and family and what you can do about it.

2. Learn how to prevent meltdowns from your baby having "too much fun."

3. Learn more about how babies differ in their response to socializing and stimulation during the holidays and beyond.

4. Get some tips to help you deal with visiting other people's homes with your busy baby.

We'll be back next time with some tips to help your toddler deal with all the holiday fun!

New Research: How Carrying Calms Babies

It’s almost instinctive; parents around the globe have walked their infants up and down halls in their efforts to calm them. Now research confirms that this time tested calming ritual works!  A recent study shows that carrying your baby (defined as holding and walking at the same time), has more of a calming effect than holding alone.

Carrying Effects on Babies

Carrying causes 3 things to happen; it decreases voluntary movement of the infant; it reduces babies' heart rate, and it decreases crying. Why? Carrying actually calms the baby’s nervous system (if you want a really technical explanation of how this works, read the full journal article referenced below).

Carrying is Repetition to Soothe

Over the years, we’ve promoted “repetition to soothe” as a tool to calm your crying baby. Carrying is a perfect example of this. It both brings baby close to your body and involves repetitive movement.

How to Use Carrying as Repetition to Soothe

Anytime your baby cries, first you want to try to find out why he is crying. Check for the obvious reasons first, like hunger, discomfort, or a dirty diaper. Then check less obvious things like overstimulation (lights, noises, people, etc.) If your baby is still upset after you’ve fixed everything, then try repetition to soothe. Hold your baby close and repeat a calming action or words over and over. This is where carrying can be incorporated! You may be wondering though just how you are supposed to know if you’ve taken care of the reason for the crying, if it’s not completely clear. If there is an underlying issue (like pain or hunger), crying will continue after the carrying stops.

Slings and Soothing

Slings or other baby carriers are a great way to carry your baby and save your arms! Remember, the key to calming is the repetitive motion, so don’t stand still! For more information about slings, click here. Remember to follow all manufacturer directions to ensure safety when using any baby carrier.

What are some other examples of how you use repetition to soothe with your baby?

Reference
Esposito G, Yoshida S, Ohnishi R, Tsuneoka Y, Rostagno Mdel C, Yokota S, Okabe S, Kamiya K, Hoshino M, Shimizu M, Venuti P, Kikusui T, Kato T, Kuroda KO. Infant Calming Responses during Maternal Carrying in Humans and Mice. Curr Biol. 2013;23(9):739-45.

Revisiting Teething: Part 3

Alternative medicines to relieve teething pain?

By Karolina Gonzalez, MAS

Note: We are not medical doctors. We are providing this information based on articles published in research journals. You should talk to your own doctor before you give any medications or remedies to your child.

As a mom, I totally understand parents have concerns when trying to help their children deal with teething discomfort. I’ve heard a lot of them telling others which of the alternative medicines available today are the best. But I’m sure many parents out there are wondering about how effective those options are. Do they really work? We want you to make an informed decision regarding the product you choose to relieve your child’s teething discomfort. So let’s take a look at what the scientific evidence tells us!

First of all, it is important to point out that even though many parents might think that “natural” options are safer than “drugs,” that is not true. There are, for example, highly toxic natural substances. You should also know that while the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) regulates "conventional" foods and drug products, it regulates dietary supplements under a different set of regulations, per the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994. Manufacturers of dietary supplements, including herbal treatments, are not required to prove a product is safe and effective before it reaches the consumer. For example, there’s insufficient evidence to support the use of any herbal teething remedy as an effective method for treating teething discomfort (McIntyre & McIntyre, 2002). However, herbal compounds such as Chamomile (Matricaria Chamomilla) are still popular among certain communities to relieve infants’ teething pain.

Homeopathic teething tablets and gels, another type of alternative medicine, are also marketed to soothe pain, reduce inflammation and ease irritability associated with teething. Homeopaths treat disease using very low dose preparations administered according to the principle that “like should be cured with like.” The remedies are prepared by a series of dilutions and vigorous shaking. The more you dilute it, the greater is its strength (Vickers & Zollman, 1999).  

Homeopathic remedies are also regulated by the FDA. For example, Hyland’s Teething Tablets were voluntarily recalled by its manufacturer on 2010 to ensure all the lots of the product contained equal amounts of the ingredients. The product was re-introduced with a new formula in July 2011 when all concerns were addressed. According to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine (NCCAM) parents can safely use the tablets as well as the gel with young children. But there is currently insufficient evidence that homeopathy is clearly effective for any single clinical condition, including teething pain in infants (Ernst, 2010).

Amber teething necklaces are a traditional European remedy for relieving teething pain and widely available today. It is important to stress that these necklaces are designed to be worn, not chewed. They supposedly help to reduce teething pain due to an analgesic compound in the amber that is absorbed into the body through the skin. But according to research, there is currently no scientific evidence suggesting that such necklaces are effective for treating teething discomfort (Markman, 2009).

From my own experience, I can tell you that an extra dose of loving care and attention has been the most effective method for “treating” my now 11 month-old teething baby. But no matter which method you choose, remember to talk with your doctor before giving your child any medication. And feel free to tell us about your experience!

References:

FDA. Dietary Supplements. Available at: http://www.fda.gov/food/dietarysupplements/default.htm

McIntyre GT & McIntyre GM. Teething troubles? British Dental Journal. 2002;192: 251-255.

Vickers A, Zollman C. ABC of complementary medicine: Homeopathy. BMJ. 1999 October 23; 319(7217): 1115–1118.

National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine. Homeopathy. Available at: http://nccam.nih.gov/health/homeopathy#sideeffects

Ernst E. Homeopathy: What does the “best” evidence tell us? Med J Aust. 2010;192(8):458–460.

Markman L. Teething: facts and fiction. Pediatr Rev. 2009;30:e59-64.

 

 

Reader Question: Starting Daycare with a Sensitive Baby

Recently, a reader asked us a question about her 3-month-old daughter. She was worried about starting daycare because the baby didn’t like people other than her parents to hold her. Our reader also was worried that her baby would be afraid because she was too young to understand that her mother was coming back at the end of the day. In this post, we'll review some of the ideas we've shared in the past about sensitive babies, separation, and how babies learn what is safe and what is not.

Sensitive Babies and Daycare

All of us have felt the pull of wanting to be with our babies when we are at work. We know how hard it is to leave babies with other caregivers however much we love and trust those caregivers. But, we also know that babies are born with a desire to learn and socialize with many people, not only their parents. Because your baby cries routinely when held by others, your baby may be quite sensitive to differences in how she is held and to overstimulation. Because your baby is so young, it is unlikely that separation anxiety is happening yet. We’ve provided tips for helping babies deal with separation in an earlier post.

As your baby gets older, she will have more tolerance for being with others, especially those who are familiar to her. Visiting the day care with the baby before the baby starts may be an option to help the baby be more familiar with the surroundings. While your baby might be fussy when you drop her off at daycare, she is likely to settle down quickly and be very excited when you return. Sometimes, she might also let you know that she was not happy that you left (but just for a short time). It will get easier once the routine is established.

Your Baby is Watching You

An important thing to consider is how you feel about your baby’s caregiver. It is important that you find someone that you trust so that you are confident that your baby will be happy with her new caregiver. Remember our posts about “social referencing?” Your baby will look at your face to see if people are “safe” or not. Having a happy, confident look when dropping your baby off, even if your baby becomes a little upset can be an important way to help your baby adjust to daycare and feel safe. Your understanding smile will let your baby know that while she is upset right now, you know she’s about to have a great day.

Secrets of Baby Behavior: Overstimulation

 My 3 year old, Olivia, just started gymnastics. Her class is held at 6 pm in a large warehouse-like building that includes a gymnastics area, where several classes are conducted concurrently, and a hockey rink. Olivia was so excited for her first class, so our whole family (me, my husband, and 7-month-old Charlotte) came to watch. As you can imagine, the sounds of squealing toddlers, giggling pre-teen gymnasts, and hockey practice echoing through the inadequately air conditioned building quickly became overwhelming for Charlotte. While I helped with Olivia’s class, my poor husband spent the entire hour trying to keep Charlotte calm. This week, we decided that Charlotte should stay home, so I took Olivia alone. As I sat in the waiting area, watching Olivia do her first summersault, I heard some fussing and saw a mom rocking her baby. I watched as she tried bouncing and singing, walking around, and even feeding her 3 month-old son, but nothing seemed to help him calm down. Finally, after about 20 minutes, the baby fell asleep. The mom looked relieved as she sat down next to me and said “I think he should stay home next week.”


After seeing another mother experience exactly what we went through just a week before, I was reminded how easily babies become overstimulated. Over the last 2 years, we’ve posted a lot of information about overstimulation. So, today I thought it would be good to provide links to previous posts that may be useful to parents going through the same thing.

Baby Behavior Basics Part 2: The Many Moods of Babies (June 2009) – In one of our original posts, we describe the 4 infant states babies move through when they are awake (drowsy, quiet alert, irritable, and crying). For each state, we explain what you will see that will tell you that this is the state your baby is in and what you can do to help your baby be calm and happy.

Baby Behavior Basics Part 3: Learning and Creating Your Baby’s Special Language (June 2009) – Babies give 2 types of cues to tell caregivers what they need. Engagement cues are given when they want to interact and disengagement cues mean they need something to be different. This post describes both types of cues and explains how each can be related to overstimulation.

Baby Behavior Basics Part 4: Crying: Your Baby’s Super Power (June 2009) – Babies can’t tell us with their words when they are overstimulated, so crying is an important way they tell us they need a break. For information about why babies cry, recognizing when a crying baby is overstimulated, and using repetition to help calm your baby, read this post!

Reader Question: How to keep your baby from being grumpy while grocery shopping (March 2010) – Like the gymnastics class, the grocery store can be a very overwhelming place for a young baby. The sights, sounds, smells, and even temperature change from aisle to aisle and can overload babies’ senses. In this post we provide tips to make the shopping experience a little easier on everyone!

Part 1: The Phenomenon of Late Afternoon/Early Evening Infant Crying (July 2010) –Many babies tend to get fussy in the late afternoon or evening and overstimulation is usually the reason. This post provides research about crying and why it tends to be more common later in the day. In Part 2, we provide tips to deal with late afternoon and early evening crying.

Too Much Fun: Preventing Overstimulation in Infants and Toddlers (December 2010) – In this post, we provide tips for minimizing meltdowns that can occur when our kids have had too much excitement. Although it isn’t possible to prevent your baby from ever getting overwhelmed, these tips can help!

Baby Science: The First 72 Hours (February 2011) – This post was written to provide the “baby science” behind what I experienced during the first few days after Charlotte was born. We explain why many newborns are very sleepy on day 1, how overstimulation can lead to fussiness on day 2, and why babies don’t always breastfeed perfectly the first time.

If you have questions about overstimulation, please send us a comment!

Baby Science: The First 72 Hours

Recently, Jen B described the first 72 hours she and her husband shared with her new baby, Charlotte, Afterward, we shared the "mommy science" behind the experiences she described.  This time, we review the "baby science" related to those early days. Using Jen B's posts as a guide, we'll ask and answer some of the questions that many parents have about newborns. As usual, we have to remind you that not all babies will follow the timelines we describe but many will follow a similar pattern.

Why are newborns so sleepy on the first day?
I'm sure it is obvious that both babies and mothers are exhausted after their birth experience. After the first hour or so when adrenaline and excitement may keep babies relatively alert, they typically sleep for 2 to 4 hours before starting to wake more frequently. A few hours of deeper sleep on the first day helps mom recover and helps baby conserve calories while feeding is still being established. Most babies struggle staying awake on the first day, falling asleep off and on, even while they are feeding. That's why it is important to practice feeding during the first couple of hours and each time the baby becomes alert.

Why are newborns so fussy on the second day?
Many parents are surprised by the sudden behavior shift in their quiet sleeping newborns that comes along on the second day. Babies' alert periods are still very short but they are also likely to be fussy, even a bit frantic, when they are awake. While we know how hard it is to listen to your baby's crying, it is one of his most important baby-skills. Crying is an extremely effective mechanism to alert parents when they are needed. Without this skill, newborns would not be able to wake their caregivers when they need to be fed, diapered, warmed, or calmed. Babies cry out whenever they become uncomfortable or distressed and a quick response will minimize but not eliminate crying, especially during the first few weeks.

Brand new baby-tummies are so small that newborns typically consume only about a teaspoon of milk during a feeding. An average milk volume for the first 24 hours is about 50 ml (or a little over 3 tablespoons). During the second day, babies become more alert and they work hard to give cues (including hunger cues) to their parents. Being more alert means they are more likely to feed frequently enough to grow and stimulate mom's milk supply, But being alert also means they will be sensitive to all the discomforts of the new world they have entered. Some babies are better than others with dealing with stimulation and calming down when their parents try to soothe them. So, some babies will cry more than others independently of how they are cared for but all newborns do better when their parents are careful not to let them get overstimulated. Limiting visitors and using repetition to calm the baby can help new parents get through that tough second day.

Why don't babies breastfeed perfectly the first time?
In her sleep-deprived state, Jen B was frustrated that Charlotte seemed so "stubborn" about breastfeeding. She would cry out for feeds, not latch very well and then, when she did latch, fall asleep almost immediately. It is easy for parents to imagine their babies thinking like older children (like being stubborn) but Charlotte was only using instincts and reflexes that just weren't quite ready for her new world. Her body was overreacting to the world around her and her sucking reflex was sending her to sleep. She needed a few days to get better control over her responses to stimulation and to use all of her reflexes for feeding at the right time and in the right order. With practice, babies get better at feeding very quickly and by the time mom's milk supply is increasing rapidly (typically when babies are between 2 and 4 days old), they are ready to take in a much larger volume.

Next time: Jen B will share more of her early experiences

Life with a Newborn: Days 2 & 3

Last week, I wrote about my experience during the first 24 hours after giving birth to my new baby, Charlotte. Today, I’ll describe days 2 and 3.

Days 2 & 3

• Even though Charlotte was more alert than she had been on the first day, she still slept a lot. On day 3, she seemed irritable, crying more than she had the 2 days before. She’d wake up about every 2 hours to eat and would be awake for up to an hour before dosing off again. Just like the day before, I was having trouble sleeping. Once I was able to shower and change into my own clothes, I was much more comfortable.

• I remember saying “She is just so stubborn!” It wasn't until my friend laughed that I realized that I was projecting behaviors of an older child onto my newborn daughter. Even though it really felt that way at times, Charlotte wasn't being stubborn, she was just being a newborn baby, adjusting to a whole new world. When I kept that in mind, I wasn't nearly as frustrated!

• Our hospital has a “rooming-in” policy, which means that the infants stay with the moms and are not taken to a nursery unless there is a medical need. Even though my husband and I saw this as one of the benefits of the hospital, there were times in the middle of the night that we found ourselves wishing we could send her to the nursery while we slept. Even though we were so tired, I noticed that we seemed to have the best feeding sessions in the middle of the night and those times helped boost my confidence about breastfeeding.

• Charlotte had trouble latching well, so we met with the lactation consultant several times. When she did latch on, she would fall asleep soon after. I started to get discouraged and despite my professional experience, I still needed help.

Charlotte and her big sister!

• Our older daughter, Olivia, enjoyed coming to the hospital to visit. Even though I was happy to see her, it was hard having her there for more than 20 or 30 minutes. The room was small, but there was a lot for a 2 ½ year old to mess with and I noticed that it was easy for the adults to lose track of time paying attention to the baby. I recommend working out a system ahead of time to ensure that the sibling visits aren't stressful.

Next Time: Days 4 & 5

Too Much Fun: Preventing Overstimulation in Infants and Toddlers

With so many families traveling and celebrating this time of year, it is not surprising that we see overstimulated babies and toddlers just about everywhere we go. Given that overstimulation can lead to crying in babies and dramatic meltdowns in toddlers, we thought we'd use this post to offer tips for parents hoping to prevent some of the fussing and tantrums so common during busy holiday preparations and parties. For some of you, all of this advice will seem silly. Your babies are able to socialize for long periods of time without showing any signs of stress and when they get tired of it all, they fall peacefully asleep. None of us had one of those babies. So, for the rest of you, we offer the following tips.

1. Be prepared.

Experienced parents know to take extra clothing, snacks, and distracting toys on any outing with babies and toddlers. Packing for trips to family gatherings or holiday parties should also include familiar soft objects or other favorite toys. Light blankets can be useful as needed cover for younger babies who need a break from all the fun. If you know your baby is particularly sensitive to large groups, scope out a quiet place at your destination that you can use for a quick retreat if needed. Make a plan with your spouse/partner so you can take turns socializing and watching the baby. While family and friends may be very happy to help, be sure you let them know about your baby's cues, especially the ones signaling that he is getting overwhelmed.

2. Timing is everything!

Unless your baby is a newborn, you probably know which times during the day are best for socializing with your baby. Both of my kids were happiest in the morning or just after their afternoon naps. If you have a choice about the time for your outings, try to match them up with the time of day when your baby is most likely to be alert, interested, and content.

3. Watch for the early warning signs.

No matter how easy-going the baby or what time of day, too much fun can bring on the tears if parents miss the early warning signs of overstimulation. Remember, babies have to work hard to concentrate on new faces, new experiences, and all the learning that comes with visiting and playing with loving family and friends. All babies and toddlers will give signs when they need a change or a break from stimulation. Younger babies will look, turn, and even push away from whomever is holding them or yawn, frown, or breathe faster and fuss a little. Just remember, these same cues are used no matter why the baby feels uncomfortable - too many new faces, dogs barking, or Aunt Lulu's loud voice. Your little one can't tell you what he needs a break from; it's your job to figure it out. Older babies will provide these same early cues but they can be far more sophisticated using gestures, pointing, and specific noises to help you know better what they want. Even toddlers who seem to be having fun will show indications when they need to slow things down. By responding to early cues, you'll avoid the stress of the crying baby or the screaming toddler who can't calm down.

4. Slow things down.

Make sure you pace activities and visits so that your baby has time to communicate with you if things get a little crazy. For example, if you walk into the family gathering right after a trip to the mall, be sure to keep your child close until you are sure that he or she shows clear signs the he is ready to play with all the new people. Loving relatives will want to hold and play with your baby. That's what your baby wants too. Just keep the transitions (from one person to the next) at a pace that your baby can handle and be ready, every once in awhile, to have a little quiet time in your arms.

5. Take effective breaks.

If you've noticed that your baby is getting tired or too excited with so much going on, be sure that you take an effective break, not just a moment in another room. Make sure that your baby is ready by watching for engagement cues or that your toddler is completely calmed down before you venture back out into the busy world. That way, you'll be able to spend a lot more time with friends and family before baby needs a nap or your toddler needs to go home.

While it may seem like you'll need to spend a lot of time and effort in avoiding overstimulation in your baby or toddler, you'll find that a little prevention can go a long way in keeping all of you happy (including your excited relatives). Unfortunately, misunderstanding of baby's behavior can end up with more melt downs, frazzled nerves, and desperate family members unsuccessfully using bribes or time-outs to control your baby's behavior. You'll find it will be much easier to work with your baby's natural rhythms and abilities. Everyone will have more fun.

Next time: Happy Holidays!

Back to Basics Part 4: Crying: Your Baby’s Super Power

Welcome to the final post in the Back to Basics series. In this series, we’ve been re-posting the original Basics of Baby Behavior series, our first set of entries when this blog was started back in July 2009. Along with the original posts, we’re adding links to what we’ve learned about infant behavior over the last year and a half. Parts 1, 2 and 3 in this series looked at Reasons Why Babies Don’t Sleep Through the Night, The Many Moods of Babies, and Understanding Baby "Language."

Babies can communicate with you from the moment they are born. Instinctively, they use their ultimate “super power;” CRYING, to make sure their needs are met. Today’s post links back to: Crying: Your Baby’s Super Power. In this post, we explain that even though crying can be very hard for new parents (or anyone for that matter) to deal with, babies' ability to cry is actually a wonderful talent. We also provide a list of reasons that babies cry (not just because of hunger), some information that can be used to prevent some crying (reading infant cues), and ways to calm a crying baby (repetition, repetition, repetition).

Tools for Coping with Crying
Because babies love repetition (see our last post), routines can help babies feel calm and secure. In a post titled Repetition in Baby's Daily Life: The Power of Routines  we explain the difference between routines and schedules, why babies react so well to routines, and the benefits of routines for both caregivers and babies. In another, more recent post, titled Music to Moms' Ears, we present research about how music can be used to calm both moms and babies. Slings are another tool that caregivers may find useful when dealing with a crying baby and earlier this year, we discussed both the Good and the Bad about slings in a 2-part series.

Persistent Crying vs. Colic
Although we explain in the Crying: Your Baby's Super Power post that babies cry whenever they feel uncomfortable or distressed, we know, from personal experience and from reviewing the literature, that some babies cry more than others. In What's the Difference between Crying and Colic, we describe the definition of colic and why many experts now prefer the term Persistent Crying, how long persistent crying typically lasts, and a list of causes. In the following post, we provided Tips for Coping with Persisitent Infant Crying.

Late Afternoon Crying
Like we've mentioned many many times, all babies are different. When it comes to crying, however, it seems that the late afternoon is often the fussiest time of day. In a 2-part series, we explored The Phenomenon of Late Afternoon/Early Evening Infant Crying and provided Tips to deal with late afternoon and early evening crying


We hope this series has been useful to our new readers and look forward to hearing your comments and ideas for future posts!

Next Time: We'll take a look at some recent research you may have seen in the news.

Part 2: Tips to deal with late afternoon and early evening crying

In our last post, we talked about the phenomenon of late afternoon and early evening crying. Now we would like to share a few tips to help you make it through those challenging few hours. Of course, if you have any concern that your baby might be ill, contact your baby’s doctor. If not, try a few of these ideas out and your baby’s “fussy time” may become just a little more peaceful. Remember, this increase in crying is temporary. The peak of infant crying is 6-weeks of age, and crying should get much better by 12-16 weeks.

Tip #1: Look for disengagement cues early!
I know this time of the day is probably your busiest time, but remember, your baby has had a long day full of learning and growing. If your baby is usually fussy starting around 4pm, start keeping an eye out for your babies 1st disengagement cues around 3 or 3:30pm (these cues will occur before he starts fussing or crying). What to look for? Grimacing, frowning, turning away from stimulation, back arching and squirming. By noticing these early signs of distress you can change your baby’s environment before he starts to escalate his cues and cry. For more about disengagement cues, read one of our original posts, Baby Behavior Basics: Part 3.

Tip #2: Reduce stimulation in your baby’s environment
If you are noticing “I need a break” cues you may need to change your baby’s environment (or diaper!) or stop interactions and let your baby have a break. Infants may be tired from a long day and react to overstimulation with irritability. Sensitive babies exposed to late afternoon or evening changes in light, noise, movement, smells, and activity may become overwhelmed. You don’t have to stop everything, just try a few changes to your routine, like turning the TV off or asking older siblings to play in another room.

Tip #3: Identify specific situations during this time of the day that cause your baby distress
Does your baby have a meltdown when you go to the grocery store or run errands during the late afternoon or early evening? Try to take care of these trips before your baby’s fussy time. You both will feel much less stressed!

Tip #4: If your baby is already crying and is NOT hungry, you can try the following soothing techniques
After you have checked your baby’s environment for things that may need changed, use repetitive low-key stimulation to calm him like speaking softly over and over, holding, rocking, or stroking the baby over and over. Remember, babies will take longer to calm down if they are very young or very upset. Be calm and patient! This will work!

Tip #5: Wear your baby
A past post of ours highlighted a recent study that showed carrying your baby for an additional 3 hours per day reduced daily duration of crying by 43%! Often close contact will help soothe your baby, and you will be able to notice early signs of distress.

Tip #6: Get support during this time of day
Ask your spouse, partner or another loved one to take over for a while. Take advantage of baby-sitting offers from trusted friends or neighbors. Even an hour on your own can help renew your coping strength. Recognize your limits. If you feel like you are losing control, put the baby in a safe place — such as a crib — and go to another room to calm yourself. Have a friend or family member come over to watch your baby for awhile while you take a break. If necessary, contact your doctor, a local crisis intervention service or a mental health help line for additional support.

We hope we have shared some useful tips to support you with caring for your baby during this difficult time. We too have paced the halls with baby in arms for hours on end, and actually, I have some fond memories of nice LONG walks in the early evening the summer after my daughter was born. The combination of fresh air and the soothing movement of the stroller seemed to calm her (and me). We became very friendly with the neighbors on our street that summer, and some of those encounters that started with conversations about our very loud (but beautiful) crying baby have evolved into great friendships and offers of support!

Next Time: A New Baby Quiz!

References

Barr R, James-Roberts I, Keefe M. New Evidence on Unexplained Early Infant Crying: Its Origins, Nature and Management. Pediatric roundtable sponsored by Johnson & Johnson Pediatric Institute, L.L.C. http://www.baby.com/jjpi/for-professionals/New-Evidence-on-Unexplained-Early-Infant-Crying-Its-Origins-Nature-and-Management.pdf. Accessed July 20, 2010.

St James-Roberts I, Halil T. Infant Crying Patterns in the First Year: Normal Community and Clinical Findings. J. Child Psychol. Psychiat. 1991;32:951-968.

Part 1: The Phenomenon of Late Afternoon/Early Evening Infant Crying

Picture this: it was 6pm; I hadn’t eaten since lunch time (not necessarily healthy, I know) and my 4-month-old was strapped to my hip in a sling while I tried to prepare something that would pass for dinner. The doorbell rang which made the dog bark. As I tried to reach the sugar that was up in the cupboard the phone started ringing. Startled, I dropped the sugar all over the kitchen floor. Does this juggling act sound familiar? With all the commotion, it’s not surprising that, without fail, my daughter would start fussing and crying around this same time of the day, every day, and it would last for about an hour, sometimes longer. I used to call this “Happy Hour” (sarcastically, of course).

Many parents report that babies seem to have a fussy time between about 4 and 6 pm when other family members are coming home, dinner is being prepared, and the TV or radio is turned on. Again, it’s not surprising that many babies sometimes reach stimulation overload from the myriad of sights and sounds that occur at the end of the day.

Crying Research
If the above story rings true to your experience, you are not alone. For many babies, crying does indeed cluster during the late afternoon and early evening. Studies show that during the peak of infant crying, 6-weeks of age, the largest cluster is in the late afternoon and early evening. It seems that this phenomenon is more biologically driven than temperament driven because research shows that crying patterns in the first 3 months of life are similar in all babies, whether they are labeled as generally “content” or “fussy.” About half of babies will have an evening crying peak, while 21% of babies will have an afternoon crying peak.

Why the late afternoon/early evening?
Dealing with crying during the busier times of the day is a big challenge. At the end of a long day, many parents also feel fussy and irritable! My story was so similar to many moms. My daughter and I were alone together for most of the day and we drifted happily through our daytime routines. At dinner time, I turned on the news, the phone would ring, the dog would bark at the front door as a visitor pulled up in the driveway, my husband came home, the lights came on, and I was preoccupied with trying to make dinner or do other household chores. Many times, I missed some of my daughter’s early disengagement cues.

You and your baby may have the same experience. Remember, your baby is working very hard to learn and take in the new world around him. When a tired sensitive baby has a flood of stimulation at the end of the day, guess what happens? The baby’s behavior (crying or fussing) intensifies until he is given a break, and since caregivers are so busy this time of the day, it can seem nearly impossible to take a break with the baby.

Now that we understand how common it is for crying to cluster in the late afternoon/early evening, we can take a look at how to manage this time of the day and share tips to keep your baby (and you) more comfortable.

Next time: Tips to help you manage late afternoon/early evening crying and ways to keep your baby comfortable so that you can both have a more peaceful afternoon or evening.

Sources:
Barr R, James-Roberts I, Keefe M. New Evidence on Unexplained Early Infant Crying: Its Origins, Nature and Management. Pediatric roundtable sponsored by Johnson & Johnson Pediatric Institute, L.L.C. http://www.baby.com/jjpi/for-professionals/New-Evidence-on-Unexplained-Early-Infant-Crying-Its-Origins-Nature-and-Management.pdf. Accessed July 20, 2010.

St James-Roberts I, Halil T. Infant Crying Patterns in the First Year: Normal Community and Clinical Findings. J. Child Psychol. Psychiat. 1991;32:951-968.

Reader Questions: Fast Answers

Recently, we've had several questions that don't require long explanations. In this post, we'll respond to several of these questions at once. We've paraphrased the questions to make them a bit shorter.

1. What is a nursing strike?


A "nursing strike" often refers to older babies' refusal to breastfeed by turning or pushing away from mom and refusing to latch. Some mothers might interpret a "nursing strike" to mean that their babies want to quit breastfeeding. This can be very disappointing for moms who haven't yet reached their breastfeeding goals. Nearly all older babies will refuse to breastfeed occasionally, but most will return to breastfeeding fairly quickly. It is common for babies to turn and even arch away from moms when they are using disengagement cues. If they are distracted or disturbed by loud noises, over stimulation, illness or discomfort, babies may use disengagement cues to let their moms know that they need something to change before they feed. Remember, babies can't be specific about what is bothering them. It is up to parents to figure out what might be wrong. If mothers ignore these early cues, babies will escalate the cues and may start to fuss or cry. When hungry babies refuse to feed, it is important to look around the environment and reduce distractions or help babies feel more comfortable before trying to feed them.

2. Why does my baby like squeaky toys?


Babies' sense of hearing is well developed at birth and most babies love repetitive sounds. They like music with repeating melodies and toys that repeat sounds over and over. Squeaky toys can be particularly fun because they are associated in babies' minds with games they've played with mom or dad or with their own ability to predict the noises the toys can make. Babies love to anticipate experiences and events and will squeal with glee whenever they are able to predict the end of a game, like peek-a-boo, or the result of an action like squeezing a toy. See our earlier post to read more about why babies are so happy when their predictions come true.

3. Is it ok for a 5-month-old who can roll over on his own to sleep on his tummy?

As long as your baby's sleeping place is safe (e.g. firm surface and free of heavy bedding, stuffed animals, or anything that could trap your baby) babies who can roll over on their own do not have to be returned to their backs if they rollover from back to tummy during the night. However, it is best that all babies be put down to sleep on their backs no matter what they do when you turn out the light.

Next time: More reader questions and we'll introduce a new series!

Quiz Answers

Earlier this week, we posted a quiz to see how much you know about babies. Here are the answers:

1. The answer is True - Babies are born with 2 types of cries, a basic cry and a pain cry. A basic cry is a generic cry newborns use when they aren't getting what they need, but a pain cry is different. When babies are in pain, they start by holding their breath before letting out an intense scream. As babies get older, their vocal cords mature and they develop different kinds of cries. For more information about crying, read Baby Behavior Basics Part 4: Crying: Your Baby's Super Power.

2. The answer is False - Babies all over the world develop behaviors and achieve milestones at the same pace! For example, babies in the United States, China, and France all develop social smiling around 6 weeks of age. For more information read Newborn Development: Reflexes Rule and Two to Four Weeks: A Whole New World. Next week we'll continue our series on infant development.

3. The answer is 3000 - The average baby goes through about 3000 diapers in the first year of life. That is a lot of diapers (and even more wipes)!

4. The answer is True - Babies can copy facial movements within the first hour of life. When a newborn is in the quiet alert state, she is ready to interact, so it's a great time to try this out. Hold the baby close to you (remember, newborns can only see about 12 inches away) and pucker your lips. It may take a little while, but she will try to pucker hers too!

5. The answer is 4 days old - Babies can identify their native language from a foreign language by the time they are 4 days old! This is just further proof that babies develop very quickly! More information about language development is available in the From Cues to Conversation: How Babies Learn To Talk.

We hope you enjoyed this little quiz! Do you have questions about baby behavior? We would love to give you the answers, just send us a comment or an email!

Next Time: We'll continue our series on infant development with 6-8 weeks of age.

Baby Behavior Basics Part 2 - The Many Moods of Babies

Babies seem so mysterious; they may be happy one moment then crying hysterically in the next. Having a new baby can be overwhelming, especially when parents struggle to guess what their babies will do next. Fortunately, once you know a few key secrets, babies’ behaviors are no longer so confusing.

To start, let me tell you a little bit about babies’ moods (also called states). When babies are awake (see “Baby Behavior Basics Part 1 for a discussion on sleep states), they move in and out of 4 different states. Parents can identify babies’ states by paying attention to the sounds babies make and how they move and breathe. While we have all heard that “all babies are different,” most healthy babies tend to behave in similar ways in each state. Below, you'll find a summary of the 4 different states and some simple tips on how to identify them in your baby.

Drowsy
What you will see: Drowsy babies’ eyes will open and close, they won’t show interest in toys or playing. They may breathe faster, then more slowly, and they may struggle to keep their heads off their parents’ shoulders. Unfortunately, some babies become irritable and cry whenever they get drowsy. If you have one of those babies, we promise to give you more information why this happens in later posts.

What you can do: Babies in this state need to rest and take a break from what they were doing. Keep in mind that they might need some help to fall asleep.

Quiet Alert
What you will see: Quiet alert babies are relaxed, calm, and happy. Babies in this state are ready to learn and socialize with everyone around them. Quiet alert babies will melt your heart as they stare contently at your face, follow your voice, and work hard to interact and play with you.

What you can do: Babies in this state are ready to interact and learn but they may struggle to stay focused. Keep in mind that while parents get to relax during this happy time, babies must work hard to try to learn despite all the distractions in their new world. That means your baby will get tired of all the fun, long before you will. Watch for signs that your baby needs a break.

Irritable
What you will see: Irritable babies squirm and fuss. They are not content with toys or playing and may turn and arch away from anyone who is trying to interact with them. They may tense their muscles and breathe irregularly. Hungry babies often become irritable, fussing as they suck on anything they can find. Tired babies get irritable too because playing and learning is so much fun and they don’t want to stop. Sometimes babies will get irritable when they have bowel movements because they aren't used to their own bodily functions. Babies in this state are distracted and frustrated by discomfort or overstimulation.

What you can do: Try to find out why your baby is irritable and make him more comfortable. Check your baby’s diaper. If you see hunger signs, feed your baby. Give your baby a break if he is tired or over-stimulated.

Crying
What you will see: I’m sure I don’t need to explain what crying looks like. Crying babies tense their muscles, turn bright red, and make noises that are stressful to anyone around them. Babies cry to indicate distress and to tell their parents they need something (now!). While we’ll talk a lot more about crying in later posts, it is important for you to understand that babies have to make horrible noises to make adults pay attention to them! If babies started cooing when they were hungry or distressed, who would come and take care of them? As hard as it is to hear, crying is a special skill designed to make sure you come running whenever you are needed.

What you can do: Babies in this state are sending a strong signal that they need your help to feel safe and more comfortable. Try using the same soothing movement or sound to calm your crying baby. Depending on how upset he or she is, this may take awhile. Trying different things to soothe your crying baby can backfire. Instead of rocking him and then bouncing him and then singing a song, pick ONE of these soothing techniques and stick with it until your baby calms down. It will save you a lot of time and stress!

While this all may seem a little confusing, we’ll be sharing specifics about each of these states over the coming weeks. Until next time, watch your baby to see how he or she moves in and out of these states. Does your baby mind being drowsy? How long can your baby stay quiet and alert before he or she gets tired? Is your baby starting to develop patterns of behavior like fussing in the afternoons or crying in certain situations? We’d love to hear your stories and answer your questions.

Next Time: Learning and Creating Your Baby’s Special Language

Thanks to Jennifer Goldbronn for all her work on this post!

Not Rocket Science

Understanding babies isn't rocket science. If it was, human beings never would have survived as a species. As a new parent, you may be thinking, if it isn't hard to figure out what my baby needs, why do I feel so lost? Maybe your baby seems to be fine one minute and screaming the next. Maybe you are wondering how much longer your baby will keep waking up at night. Maybe you wish you knew the secrets that other parents seem to know, especially those parents with the "good" babies who seem so happy all the time. Maybe you've already read magazines and books and bought toys, bags, chairs, slings, videos, and anything else that promises to keep your baby happy. Yet, sometimes your baby is not happy; sometimes the crying and the sleepless nights seem endless.

Parenting is a tough job and sadly, much of the wisdom and support that struggling parents used to get from their own familes has been lost. Expectations for how babies should behave have been distorted by idealized media versions of "perfect" babies and their well-coifed, well-dressed mothers who get rid of their "baby weight" in the first week after their babies are born.

It's time to use a little common sense and readjust our thinking. We can learn a lot from babies and the wonderful research that has been done about them over the last 30 years. In this blog, you'll hear from moms who have been in the trenches (and in the classroom), who understand what you are going through and what your baby is trying to tell you. We look forward to sharing our knowledge and experience with you and we hope that you'll share your ideas and questions with us.