Showing posts with label newborns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label newborns. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
WelcometotheWorld Royal Baby!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Successfully Breastfeeding After A Rough Start: Part 1
By Karolina Gonzalez, MAS
You might remember I was expecting a baby last summer. David was born in mid-July on a beautiful sunny morning after 4 hours of labor. It was a very fast non-medicated delivery. Everything happened so rapidly that our midwife still insists the baby almost was born in the car on our way to the hospital!
But I clearly remember (and laugh about) my husband asking my mom whether or not to have coffee and toast before leaving at 4 am, while I was already opening the garage door and turning the car on. I knew we had to leave soon!
After David’s birth, both of us were very alert and he latched onto my breast as soon as he was next to me! I felt so fortunate and so in love with my little baby! Since everything with baby and mom was fine, we came back home the next day. We were all delighted with the baby, but I was really struggling with breastfeeding. On day 3, we met with the lactation consultant. The baby seemed to have a good latch and he was making sounds as if he was swallowing colostrum, but he was consistently losing too much weight. Even though I was determined not to use supplemental formula, on day 4, I was advised to do so by the pediatrician.
During the next two days and despite using the breast pump to stimulate milk production and the nipple shields to be able to nurse the baby as often as he wanted to (I was very sore), his weight didn’t improve. I was sleep deprived, tired and engorged, conditions that together increased my doubts about being able to deal with what sometimes seemed too much. However, I was determined we both could keep on learning how to do this! In the next post, I'll explain how we learned what was wrong and what was done to help David and I to breastfeed successfully.
It’s amazing how fast babies grow up! David is now a very active and joyful 8-month-old who moves as if he wanted to jump and run, even though he is just taking small steps with the help of his parents. Now, I realize I should cherish every moment with this beautiful energetic little boy, since in a blink of an eye he’ll become a grown-up! And yes, he is still a breastfed baby!
After David’s birth, both of us were very alert and he latched onto my breast as soon as he was next to me! I felt so fortunate and so in love with my little baby! Since everything with baby and mom was fine, we came back home the next day. We were all delighted with the baby, but I was really struggling with breastfeeding. On day 3, we met with the lactation consultant. The baby seemed to have a good latch and he was making sounds as if he was swallowing colostrum, but he was consistently losing too much weight. Even though I was determined not to use supplemental formula, on day 4, I was advised to do so by the pediatrician.
During the next two days and despite using the breast pump to stimulate milk production and the nipple shields to be able to nurse the baby as often as he wanted to (I was very sore), his weight didn’t improve. I was sleep deprived, tired and engorged, conditions that together increased my doubts about being able to deal with what sometimes seemed too much. However, I was determined we both could keep on learning how to do this! In the next post, I'll explain how we learned what was wrong and what was done to help David and I to breastfeed successfully.
It’s amazing how fast babies grow up! David is now a very active and joyful 8-month-old who moves as if he wanted to jump and run, even though he is just taking small steps with the help of his parents. Now, I realize I should cherish every moment with this beautiful energetic little boy, since in a blink of an eye he’ll become a grown-up! And yes, he is still a breastfed baby!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Answers to Mothers’ Common Questions about the First 3 Days Postpartum
In our previous post, we shared a study reporting postpartum mothers’ most common concerns in the first days and weeks postpartum. Their questions varied from concerns about their own post-operative care to those about feeding and caring for their infant. In today’s post, we’ll provide some answers to mothers’ most common questions about the first 3 days postpartum. For more detailed information on any of the topics below, please see the reference section at the end of this post.
Post-Operative Care
Whether you’ve had a C-Section or an episiotomy, it’s important to know what to expect from the procedure itself and how to care for the stitches and wounds afterwards. It’s important to breastfeed in a position that is most comfortable for you and doesn’t put pressure on your incision.
Cesarean Section
Wound care of your incision is monitored for redness and infection by your healthcare team while you are in the hospital. You will be encouraged to shower and get up to walk within 24 hours. You will also be prescribed pain medication. It is important that you feel comfortable asking for adjustments to the dosage if you are experiencing changes in pain. Pain management is important for healing and being able to comfortably care for your newborn. Once you are home, you may need someone to help you monitor your incision (from experience, it was difficult to see the incision myself). One last piece of advice from my own experience: place a pillow over the incision (on top of your clothing) because the area will be very tender, especially while holding your baby or adjusting your position.
Episiotomy
For episiotomies, wound care begins immediately. You will most likely be prescribed pain medication as well as a topical antibacterial cream for the incision itself. An ice pack will help with pain and inflammation. Sitting in a warm bath with Epson salt (“sitz bath”) 2-3 times per day will cleanse the wound and relieve some of the pain.
Uterine Massage
Uterine massage is important to help deliver the placenta and to aid in uterine contractions. This ensures that the uterus expels all of the excess tissue and returns to its normal size. Most nurses will do this for you while you are in the hospital.
Returning to Your ‘Normal’ Figure
I have to admit I was a little surprised to see this was a concern of mothers in the first few days postpartum! There is so much pressure in our society to conform to the ideal body image that we see in the media. Remember, it took you about 40 weeks to carry your baby to term, and most healthcare professionals say that it will take about 40 weeks or up to 1 year to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Pregnancy weight gain not only includes weight from your baby but from body fluids and tissues to support the growth of your baby as well. During the first few days postpartum, you should not push yourself too exercise too hard or too soon. Your body needs time to rest, relax, and heal. If you’re jealous of how svelte stars like Angelina Jolie and Reese Witherspoon manage to look red-carpet ready in just a few months after giving birth – consider this – if you had the money to hire a 24/7 personal trainer, nutritionist, chef, nanny, and buy an unlimited supply of Spanx, then you could look like them too!
Physical Activity in the Postpartum Period
How soon you can begin to exercise after giving birth will largely depend on what kind of shape you were in prior to your pregnancy and your fitness during pregnancy. Most people will say that you can resume activity and exercise “when you feel up to it” but moms recovering from a c-section may be asked to wait until their 6-week check-up before restarting an exercise regimen. For all moms, easy walks up to 30 minutes in length can begin a few days postpartum and you can slowly increase exercise intensity as your body regains strength.
Concerns about Your Baby’s 1st 3 Days
Recognizing Infant Illness
Newborn babies will cry, wake, and need to be fed often! Healthy newborns (after they are cleaned up!) will have warm, pink skin and will try to interact with you. If your baby abruptly changes his behavior – i.e. suddenly begins to cry more often than usual and cannot be consoled or becomes lethargic, this may be a sign of illness or injury. Keep in mind that sometimes a baby’s “good” behavior can be misleading. Babies that sleep all of the time, do not wake to feed consistently, or never cry may not be feeding or growing well. Call your pediatrician immediately. If you swaddle your newborn, it is important to un-swaddle them to change diapers and to monitor their skin tone and color. If you are worried that your baby may be sick, call your doctor or advice nurse.
Feeding
Newborns have very tiny stomachs so they can only eat very small amounts at a time. So if it seems like your baby wants to eat “all the time” – You’re right, he needs to eat frequently! During the first 3 days, babies should be fed whenever they show hunger cues -which can be up to 12 times per day! (Do keep in mind that cues may be unreadable or conflicting in the early newborn period. For more information about newborn behavior in the first 72 hours, click here. Twelve feedings per day may seem like a lot, but remember that feeding takes practice, so the more you do it during those first few days, the better you and your baby will become at breastfeeding! For more information about breastfeeding after a cesarean section, click here.
Note: Days 4 and 5 postpartum usually have the most feeds. Many mothers then think that they do not have enough breast milk. This is not true! This sudden increase in feeds helps prevent engorgement (from the rapid increase in milk supply around this time) and gives mom and baby lots of practice feeding, right when they need it most.
We hope the answers to these questions provide information to those of you who are new or prenatal moms with similar concerns! Next time we’ll address mothers’ most common concerns in the weeks and months after giving birth.
References
Cesarean Section:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-section/MY00214/DSECTION=what-you-can-expect
Uterine Massage: http://apps.who.int/rhl/pregnancy_childbirth/childbirth/3rd_stage/Cd006431_soltanih_com/en/index.html
Episiotomy:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/episiotomy/HO00064/NSECTIONGROUP=2
Postpartum Exercise:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise-after-pregnancy/MY00477
Post-Operative Care
Whether you’ve had a C-Section or an episiotomy, it’s important to know what to expect from the procedure itself and how to care for the stitches and wounds afterwards. It’s important to breastfeed in a position that is most comfortable for you and doesn’t put pressure on your incision.Cesarean Section
Wound care of your incision is monitored for redness and infection by your healthcare team while you are in the hospital. You will be encouraged to shower and get up to walk within 24 hours. You will also be prescribed pain medication. It is important that you feel comfortable asking for adjustments to the dosage if you are experiencing changes in pain. Pain management is important for healing and being able to comfortably care for your newborn. Once you are home, you may need someone to help you monitor your incision (from experience, it was difficult to see the incision myself). One last piece of advice from my own experience: place a pillow over the incision (on top of your clothing) because the area will be very tender, especially while holding your baby or adjusting your position.
Episiotomy
For episiotomies, wound care begins immediately. You will most likely be prescribed pain medication as well as a topical antibacterial cream for the incision itself. An ice pack will help with pain and inflammation. Sitting in a warm bath with Epson salt (“sitz bath”) 2-3 times per day will cleanse the wound and relieve some of the pain.
Uterine Massage
Uterine massage is important to help deliver the placenta and to aid in uterine contractions. This ensures that the uterus expels all of the excess tissue and returns to its normal size. Most nurses will do this for you while you are in the hospital.
Returning to Your ‘Normal’ Figure
I have to admit I was a little surprised to see this was a concern of mothers in the first few days postpartum! There is so much pressure in our society to conform to the ideal body image that we see in the media. Remember, it took you about 40 weeks to carry your baby to term, and most healthcare professionals say that it will take about 40 weeks or up to 1 year to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Pregnancy weight gain not only includes weight from your baby but from body fluids and tissues to support the growth of your baby as well. During the first few days postpartum, you should not push yourself too exercise too hard or too soon. Your body needs time to rest, relax, and heal. If you’re jealous of how svelte stars like Angelina Jolie and Reese Witherspoon manage to look red-carpet ready in just a few months after giving birth – consider this – if you had the money to hire a 24/7 personal trainer, nutritionist, chef, nanny, and buy an unlimited supply of Spanx, then you could look like them too!
Physical Activity in the Postpartum Period
How soon you can begin to exercise after giving birth will largely depend on what kind of shape you were in prior to your pregnancy and your fitness during pregnancy. Most people will say that you can resume activity and exercise “when you feel up to it” but moms recovering from a c-section may be asked to wait until their 6-week check-up before restarting an exercise regimen. For all moms, easy walks up to 30 minutes in length can begin a few days postpartum and you can slowly increase exercise intensity as your body regains strength.
Concerns about Your Baby’s 1st 3 Days
Recognizing Infant Illness
Newborn babies will cry, wake, and need to be fed often! Healthy newborns (after they are cleaned up!) will have warm, pink skin and will try to interact with you. If your baby abruptly changes his behavior – i.e. suddenly begins to cry more often than usual and cannot be consoled or becomes lethargic, this may be a sign of illness or injury. Keep in mind that sometimes a baby’s “good” behavior can be misleading. Babies that sleep all of the time, do not wake to feed consistently, or never cry may not be feeding or growing well. Call your pediatrician immediately. If you swaddle your newborn, it is important to un-swaddle them to change diapers and to monitor their skin tone and color. If you are worried that your baby may be sick, call your doctor or advice nurse.
Feeding
Newborns have very tiny stomachs so they can only eat very small amounts at a time. So if it seems like your baby wants to eat “all the time” – You’re right, he needs to eat frequently! During the first 3 days, babies should be fed whenever they show hunger cues -which can be up to 12 times per day! (Do keep in mind that cues may be unreadable or conflicting in the early newborn period. For more information about newborn behavior in the first 72 hours, click here. Twelve feedings per day may seem like a lot, but remember that feeding takes practice, so the more you do it during those first few days, the better you and your baby will become at breastfeeding! For more information about breastfeeding after a cesarean section, click here.
Note: Days 4 and 5 postpartum usually have the most feeds. Many mothers then think that they do not have enough breast milk. This is not true! This sudden increase in feeds helps prevent engorgement (from the rapid increase in milk supply around this time) and gives mom and baby lots of practice feeding, right when they need it most.
We hope the answers to these questions provide information to those of you who are new or prenatal moms with similar concerns! Next time we’ll address mothers’ most common concerns in the weeks and months after giving birth.
References
Cesarean Section:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/c-section/MY00214/DSECTION=what-you-can-expect
Uterine Massage: http://apps.who.int/rhl/pregnancy_childbirth/childbirth/3rd_stage/Cd006431_soltanih_com/en/index.html
Episiotomy:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/episiotomy/HO00064/NSECTIONGROUP=2
Postpartum Exercise:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise-after-pregnancy/MY00477
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What New Moms Really Want to Know about the Postpartum Experience
There are a lot of new things to consider when preparing for pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. Today, we will present an article that describes a review of 18 scientific papers and a list of the most important things that mothers want to learn after giving birth. We have also done a little research of our own to find the answers to these common questions, just in case you were wondering about some of the same things! However, you’ll have to stay tuned for the answers in the next few posts!
Common Questions about the First 3 Days Postpartum
For mothers who have had c-sections, the first 3 days are generally spent in the hospital with access to nurses, lactation consultants (in some cases) and doctors to answer their most pressing questions. Mothers delivering vaginally, however, may be discharged from the hospital 24 to 48 hours after an uncomplicated birth; it’s not surprising that mothers’ primary concerns centered around their babies’ feeding and care during their first 3 days of life. Mothers asked questions most often about learning how to recognize and treat infant illnesses and how often and how much to feed their infants.
Interestingly, there were only minor differences between questions asked by first-time mothers and mothers who had had children before. For first-time moms, the most universal question on the 1st day postpartum was how to care for surgical wounds like c-section incisions and episiotomies. Other common postpartum care questions included combatting postpartum complications, illness, fatigue, and the purpose of uterine massage in the hospital.
The concerns of mothers who have had a child before were only slightly different. The most common questions these moms had were the same as the first time mothers’ questions with the additional concern of appropriate maternal physical activity and how to return to their ‘normal’ figures (or weight).
Common Questions beyond the First Days and Weeks Postpartum
By this time, most mothers are back at their own homes, and after having tackled the art of diaper changing and feeding, have a new slew of questions about caring for their baby, themselves, and their new family as a whole.
In this review, the most important issues to address during the transition from hospital to bringing baby home for both first-time and veteran moms were returning to their prenatal figure, postpartum exercise, “mothering” in general, and meeting the demands of everyone at home.
Understanding Baby Behavior is a universal concern of parents all over the world. This study found that during their babies’ first few weeks, mothers were concerned about their babies’ behavior, fussiness, need for stimulation, growth and development, and feeding – all things we hope you have learned from our previous posts! (for a quick refresher on the basics of Baby Behavior, you can review the crying , sleep, states, and cues posts.) Other, less frequent questions were about support bras, perineal care, and how to deal with older siblings and sibling reactions when the new baby came home.
We know from experience that being aware of common questions can be a relief, helping new parents know that they are not alone in their concerns! If you haven’t ever stopped to consider any of these questions, don’t worry! We will be providing the answers to these questions in the next couple of posts!
Reference: Bowman KG. Postpartum Learning Needs. J Obstet Gynecol Neonatal Nurs. 2005 Jul-Aug;34(4):438-43..
Reference: Bowman KG. Postpartum Learning Needs. J Obstet Gynecol Neonatal Nurs. 2005 Jul-Aug;34(4):438-43..
Friday, March 11, 2011
Baby Science: Days 4 and 5
In our last "Mommy Science" post, we discussed the science behind Jen B’s early postpartum experiences at home. As promised, now we’ll take a closer look at her daughter Charlotte’s development and experiences during those early days.
As Charlotte entered her 4th day of life, she was still struggling to maintain an alert state for more than a few minutes. Her situation is a common one, especially for a baby born by c-section. Sleepy babies can be particularly challenging for new parents if they require a lot of work to wake up. Sometimes babies are sleepy because of exposure to medications, sometimes because their bodies are still not able to effectively move from one state to another. Other babies are challenging to wake because they are spending so much energy trying to tune out the world when they are trying to rest and recover from birth. While parents with sleepy babies may enjoy the extra shut-eye, sleeping too long or failing wake up enough to feed effectively, can result in babies' losing weight, becoming dehydrated, or even jaundiced. It is important to follow your health care providers' guidelines about how often to feed your baby and how best to wake your baby to feed.
As Charlotte entered her 4th day of life, she was still struggling to maintain an alert state for more than a few minutes. Her situation is a common one, especially for a baby born by c-section. Sleepy babies can be particularly challenging for new parents if they require a lot of work to wake up. Sometimes babies are sleepy because of exposure to medications, sometimes because their bodies are still not able to effectively move from one state to another. Other babies are challenging to wake because they are spending so much energy trying to tune out the world when they are trying to rest and recover from birth. While parents with sleepy babies may enjoy the extra shut-eye, sleeping too long or failing wake up enough to feed effectively, can result in babies' losing weight, becoming dehydrated, or even jaundiced. It is important to follow your health care providers' guidelines about how often to feed your baby and how best to wake your baby to feed.
Even when they are awake, newborns may have some trouble getting feedings started. Learning to latch and coordinating breathing and sucking are sometimes tricky even when all the reflexes and instincts are in place. Fortunately, babies are born with innate abilities to learn quickly and after the first few days, nearly all babies are feeding champs. If not, a trip to the doctor, nurse, or lactation consultant can help get things back on track. The very best way to make sure that your baby improves in his ability to feed is to practice every time you see your baby use hunger cues.
Some of you will be surprised about how much your baby moves during those first few days. He may twitch and flail his arms and legs, especially when you put him down on his back. He may even move around quite a bit when he's sleeping. Newborns have little control over their muscles and some (but not all) will move around so much that they startle themselves. Swaddling can be useful for newborns to minimize movement and keep your baby a bit more relaxed until he gets more control over his body (within the first few weeks).
One last thing, newborns are tenacious in their desire and ability to connect with and learn from the world around them. It may not be obvious, but each time your newborn looks at your face, he is working hard to learn and duplicate what he sees. When you smile or move your lips to speak to him, his brain is making connections that will someday let him smile back at you. At first, your newborn won't be able to look at you for very long but when he does, you will notice that looking at you calms him. In fact, he will find your face to be one of the most wondrous things in his brand new world.
Next time: A New Baby Quiz!
Some of you will be surprised about how much your baby moves during those first few days. He may twitch and flail his arms and legs, especially when you put him down on his back. He may even move around quite a bit when he's sleeping. Newborns have little control over their muscles and some (but not all) will move around so much that they startle themselves. Swaddling can be useful for newborns to minimize movement and keep your baby a bit more relaxed until he gets more control over his body (within the first few weeks).
One last thing, newborns are tenacious in their desire and ability to connect with and learn from the world around them. It may not be obvious, but each time your newborn looks at your face, he is working hard to learn and duplicate what he sees. When you smile or move your lips to speak to him, his brain is making connections that will someday let him smile back at you. At first, your newborn won't be able to look at you for very long but when he does, you will notice that looking at you calms him. In fact, he will find your face to be one of the most wondrous things in his brand new world.
Next time: A New Baby Quiz!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Life with a Newborn: Days 4 & 5
A few weeks ago, I wrote about about the day my second daughter was born and my feelings and observations on days 2 and 3 postpartum. Last week, Taryn and Jane highlighted the research explaining both the "Mommy Science"and "Baby Science" behind my family's experience. By sharing my personal story, followed by the science behind what I was experiencing, we hope that we have highlighted some of the questions and concerns facing new parents. Today, I will continue my story with Days 4 and 5.
Day 4
The nurse came in to weigh Charlotte at about 1am (sounds like a strange time, but I wasn't asleep anyway!). We were having some trouble latching, but we were still feeding about every 2 hours and my milk had come in on Day 3. Charlotte had been losing weight, but I knew it was normal for newborns to lose some weight, so I wasn't worried. When she was weighed that night, though, she had lost a lot more than expected. The nurse explained that we wouldn't be able to leave in the morning if she lost any more weight.
A few hours later, I noticed that Charlotte's mouth was really dry and that she hadn't had a wet diaper in quite a while. Also, I was starting to feel engorged and the feeling didn't change when I'd feed her. Worried that she was getting dehydrated, I asked the nurse to bring me a breast pump to relieve some of the pressure and get some breast milk to feed Charlotte in case she wasn't feeding effectively. I also asked her to ask the lactation consultant to come in first thing in the morning.
By morning, Charlotte was lethargic and had lost even more weight, so it was clear she needed more milk than she was getting at the breast. The pediatrician suggested that we avoid feeding her at the breast until she stopped losing weight and the lactation consultant showed us how to syringe feed, which is basically just slowly squirting the milk into the baby's mouth.
Needless to say, Day 4 was very stressful. I had been looking forward to going home and I missed my older daughter. I was already having a hard time falling asleep and the events of the day made it even harder. Not only was I worried about my baby but I also knew that my husband wasn't getting enough rest (if my bed felt uncomfortable, how would that reclining chair feel for 4 nights in a row?). That night, I told my husband to go home to sleep. He protested at first, but eventually he was convinced that it was better for one of us to get some sleep!
Day 5
When Charlotte was weighed on Day 5 (at 1:30am this time), she had stopped losing weight, but hadn't gained any back. I mentioned to the nurse that I was worried that the syringe feeding was preventing us from resolving our latch problems, she suggested that we begin finger feeding until we could talk to the pediatrician and lactation consultant again. To finger feed, we attached one end of a small tube to the syringe and the other end to one finger and put the finger and tube into her mouth. We still had control over the flow of the milk (with the syringe), but she was able to suck on our finger at the same time.
My husband left to go home around 2:00am and Charlotte and I were fine until about 4:30 am. The nurse came in to check on us and when she asked me how I was doing, I just lost it. I had been getting less than 4 total hours of sleep a day and was frustrated that we were having trouble breastfeeding. She listened to my concerns and then suggested that she take the baby for a short time so I could rest. I was very hesitant and felt silly for sending my husband home when I clearly needed the help, but she assured me that she would be right across the hall and would bring Charlotte back as soon as she gave any indications of hunger. I let her take Charlotte and within minutes, I was asleep. I woke up 2 hours later and felt so much better. Looking back, I realize how important it had been to share my frustration and that I probably wouldn't have done that if my husband had been there.
In the morning, when Charlotte was weighed again, she had started gaining back some of the weight she'd lost. The doctor gave the OK to start feeding her at the breast again and lactation consultant helped us weigh her to determine how much she ate. Around 10:00 am, the nurse came in to tell us we were being discharged. I was happy and terrified at the same time. I couldn't wait to get home, but I was worried that Charlotte would start losing weight again. We scheduled an appointment for the next morning to have her weight checked again and by 1:00 pm we were on our way home!
As soon as we got home, Olivia took Charlotte on a tour of the house (with Daddy's help, of course). She was so excited to have us home and was eager to take care of her new sister! When Charlotte wasn't latching well, we would finger feed her and she seemed more alert than she had been in the hospital.
Olivia was 2 1/2 months old when she came home from the hospital, so bringing home a newborn was a new experience for us. Being home relieved so much of the stress I was feeling! A friend brought us dinner and we spent the rest of the day just resting and getting used to having 2 children to care for!
Next Time: Mommy Science
Day 4
The nurse came in to weigh Charlotte at about 1am (sounds like a strange time, but I wasn't asleep anyway!). We were having some trouble latching, but we were still feeding about every 2 hours and my milk had come in on Day 3. Charlotte had been losing weight, but I knew it was normal for newborns to lose some weight, so I wasn't worried. When she was weighed that night, though, she had lost a lot more than expected. The nurse explained that we wouldn't be able to leave in the morning if she lost any more weight.
A few hours later, I noticed that Charlotte's mouth was really dry and that she hadn't had a wet diaper in quite a while. Also, I was starting to feel engorged and the feeling didn't change when I'd feed her. Worried that she was getting dehydrated, I asked the nurse to bring me a breast pump to relieve some of the pressure and get some breast milk to feed Charlotte in case she wasn't feeding effectively. I also asked her to ask the lactation consultant to come in first thing in the morning.
By morning, Charlotte was lethargic and had lost even more weight, so it was clear she needed more milk than she was getting at the breast. The pediatrician suggested that we avoid feeding her at the breast until she stopped losing weight and the lactation consultant showed us how to syringe feed, which is basically just slowly squirting the milk into the baby's mouth.
Needless to say, Day 4 was very stressful. I had been looking forward to going home and I missed my older daughter. I was already having a hard time falling asleep and the events of the day made it even harder. Not only was I worried about my baby but I also knew that my husband wasn't getting enough rest (if my bed felt uncomfortable, how would that reclining chair feel for 4 nights in a row?). That night, I told my husband to go home to sleep. He protested at first, but eventually he was convinced that it was better for one of us to get some sleep!
Day 5
When Charlotte was weighed on Day 5 (at 1:30am this time), she had stopped losing weight, but hadn't gained any back. I mentioned to the nurse that I was worried that the syringe feeding was preventing us from resolving our latch problems, she suggested that we begin finger feeding until we could talk to the pediatrician and lactation consultant again. To finger feed, we attached one end of a small tube to the syringe and the other end to one finger and put the finger and tube into her mouth. We still had control over the flow of the milk (with the syringe), but she was able to suck on our finger at the same time.
My husband left to go home around 2:00am and Charlotte and I were fine until about 4:30 am. The nurse came in to check on us and when she asked me how I was doing, I just lost it. I had been getting less than 4 total hours of sleep a day and was frustrated that we were having trouble breastfeeding. She listened to my concerns and then suggested that she take the baby for a short time so I could rest. I was very hesitant and felt silly for sending my husband home when I clearly needed the help, but she assured me that she would be right across the hall and would bring Charlotte back as soon as she gave any indications of hunger. I let her take Charlotte and within minutes, I was asleep. I woke up 2 hours later and felt so much better. Looking back, I realize how important it had been to share my frustration and that I probably wouldn't have done that if my husband had been there.
In the morning, when Charlotte was weighed again, she had started gaining back some of the weight she'd lost. The doctor gave the OK to start feeding her at the breast again and lactation consultant helped us weigh her to determine how much she ate. Around 10:00 am, the nurse came in to tell us we were being discharged. I was happy and terrified at the same time. I couldn't wait to get home, but I was worried that Charlotte would start losing weight again. We scheduled an appointment for the next morning to have her weight checked again and by 1:00 pm we were on our way home!
As soon as we got home, Olivia took Charlotte on a tour of the house (with Daddy's help, of course). She was so excited to have us home and was eager to take care of her new sister! When Charlotte wasn't latching well, we would finger feed her and she seemed more alert than she had been in the hospital. Olivia was 2 1/2 months old when she came home from the hospital, so bringing home a newborn was a new experience for us. Being home relieved so much of the stress I was feeling! A friend brought us dinner and we spent the rest of the day just resting and getting used to having 2 children to care for!
Next Time: Mommy Science
Friday, February 11, 2011
Life with a Newborn: Day 1
In December, we posted a special announcement! Charlotte is now almost 10 weeks old and we are getting used to being back to work. That’s right, I said we. Charlotte comes with me to the office a few days a week (watch for a post about bringing baby to the office in the near future)!
 |
| Charlotte Isabel Citlali Banuelos 7 hours old |
Before I left, we introduced a new series that would chronicle Charlotte's behavior as it was happening. The plan was to take notes about her behavior (sleeping, crying, cues, etc) and how my family interacted with her and, in my spare time, post what we observed. Well, as many of you may have predicted (and as we mentioned in a previous post), I haven't had much spare time! We did take notes though, so now that I am back in the office, I am going to share our experiences. It is important to note that, unlike many of our research-based posts, this post is just an account of my family's personal experiences.
Day 1
- The first thing both my husband and I noticed was how much more calm this day was compared to the day our first daughter was born. This time, I was 39 weeks along and had no complications that affected the delivery. It was such a relief to have a "typical" experience this time!
- Charlotte spent most of her first 24 hours sleeping. Even though she wasn't awake often, we noticed her moving through the states that we've described on this blog many times. As I watched her move in and out of Quiet Alert, the state when babies are awake and ready to learn and interact, I noticed that she had about a 3 minute limit before she would either begin to fall asleep or start to fuss. It was so amazing to see her focusing on our faces so soon after she was born!
- Even though Charlotte was sleeping so much, I found it hard to sleep in the first 24 hours. I noticed that I could sleep only about 20 minutes before waking up.
- When we weren't sleeping (or in my case trying to sleep), we were trying to breastfeed. From the beginning, Charlotte had a strong suck and was anxious to eat, but she had trouble latching. When she would latch onto the breast, she'd quickly fall asleep, so we spent A LOT of time practicing! JenG's Tips for Successful Breastfeeding after a C-section really came in handy.
- The nurse gave Charlotte her first bath several hours after she was born. While getting her hair and face washed, she was happy and calm, but when the nurse washed her body in the little basin, we got our first chance to hear how loud she could scream. As terrible as it was to hear her scream, we learned something that was very useful. She was calmed by us touching her face and made more alert when we touched her body. Over the next few days, when she was really upset, we would use a washcloth on her head and face to help her calm down and when we needed her to wake up, we would use it on her body!
- We had very few visitors on the first day and the visitors we did have only stayed for a few minutes. I think this was very helpful in keeping everyone as calm and rested as possible. Although everyone was very anxious to spend time with Charlotte, we needed that time alone to recover and get to know our baby. I would definitely recommend limiting the number of visitors on the first day.
Next Time: Life with a Newborn: Days 2 & 3
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Getting the Help You Need Part 2. What to Do When Your “Help” Isn’t Helpful
Picture this: Aunt Mimi has taken the long trip from Pittsburgh to “help” in those first few days after you bring your baby home. As she steps through the door, she sniffs at the air, asks how long it’s been since you cleaned your carpets, sits down on the couch, and asks “What’s for dinner?” Later, your sister calls raving about a new book called “Baby Care in Less than 10 minutes per Day.”* She explains she’s excited about trying the "let your baby raise himself" system out on your baby. These are extreme examples but sometimes the “help” you get is no help at all or not the kind you need. In our last post, we offered tips about how to ask for help. Today, we’ll talk about how to deal with family and friends whose “help” ends up to be more work for you (like Aunt Mimi). Next time, we’ll share some tips on what to do when you are offered the kind of help you are better off without (as in our sister example above).Handling Challenging Conversations
Before we go any further, please note that we’re going to assume that all of the people we’re talking about here are well-intentioned if also a bit misguided. If you are dealing with people who are trying to belittle or berate you, it is best to discuss the situation with your doctor or therapist.
Most of us shy away from challenging or emotional conversations. Confronting Aunt Mimi is particularly tough because you do need her help and you don’t want to insult her. Here are some tips to get you started.
- Know what you want. Think specifically about what you want to happen after your conversation is over, the more concrete the better. For example, it is too vague to ask for “more help.” It is much better to ask Aunt Mimi to “do the cooking and dishes for the next 3 days.” Remember, Aunt Mimi is not volunteering to be your servant and she should not be expected to do all the household chores you and your partner did before the baby came. If all of those chores matter to you, recruit more help.
- Focus on the present need. Think hard about what is the most important thing you need to say and say it first. If you need Aunt Mimi to help with the dishes, don’t be concerned about her comment about your carpets. Let it go. Start from the present moment and move forward. Worry about the rest after things are a little easier.
- Don’t wait. If Aunt Mimi’s behavior is making you mad, don’t wait until there is an emotional scene. It is best to get things out in the open as soon as things start going in the wrong direction.
What does this look like in action? Maybe something like this: “We’re so glad you’re here Aunt Mimi; there aren’t very many people who understand how much help we need. We have organized a list of friends who have offered to help with errands and chores. They signed up for specific days and times. They’ve been wonderful. Finding the time to make regular meals and do dishes has been impossible. We desperately need your help with meals and dishes for the next few days. You must be tired from traveling. We were thinking of picking something up at the deli for tonight. Tomorrow, I was hoping you’d make some of that great stew you made last time I saw you.”
What if the Problem is your Partner?
Sometimes we find that our biggest challenges are closest to home. We’ve had several posts on the difficulties related to becoming a new parent. When you’re lost in the haze of those first few weeks, it is easy to think that you are the only one who is tired and frustrated. Keeping two things in mind can help you through this tough time. First, no matter how much others love us, they can’t read our minds. Don’t get mad if your partner doesn’t do the dishes because you thought he or she should know you wanted them done. Second, your partner is going through the same adjustments and challenges that you are. Taking care of a baby can be overwhelming emotionally and physically. Under extreme stress, people naturally want to “feel normal again” and get back to familiar routines. So, for example, if you made breakfast every day before the baby came, don’t be surprised if your partner sits down at the table and waits for you to start the coffee, especially after a long stressful night. As frustrating as that may be, don’t get mad. Sit down yourself and talk about how you can trade off making breakfast. Even better, wake Aunt Mimi and ask her to make her famous biscuits.
Don’t forget to ask your partner (out loud) for the kind of help you need. Be open to your partner’s feelings and seek ways to get things done together, recruit others, or let things go. Ideally, you should have a plan in place before your baby is born but it’s never too late to get one started.
Next time: Coping with the Kind of Help that You're Better Off Without
*Note: Don’t get excited; this book does not exist.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Getting the Help You Need Part 1. The Art of “The Ask”
Anyone who has read more than a handful of our Secrets posts knows how strongly we believe that all families with newborns need and deserve help. With JenB’s new addition only days away, we've been thinking a great deal about the delicate balance between providing practical support and space for family time. We realized that, for all our rants about the importance of getting help, we hadn’t written a post on how best to get that help. In this short series, we’ll provide some tips to help you get to “the ask” (a concise and complete request for help) without sacrificing your pride or privacy. Today, we’ll share some ideas about how to ask for help effectively. Next time, we’ll help you deal with well-intentioned but misguided friends and family that manage only to make things more stressful.As is true of many of her pragmatic and independent peers, JenB is not one to ask for help lightly, but she is more than willing to seek support when it is needed. Naturally organized, she and her husband set up their primary and back-up support systems early in the pregnancy. We encourage all expectant parents to do the same. As we’ve explained in an earlier post, taking care of a baby is a full time job, leaving little time for anything else. Friends and family can step in to help with the following necessities:
- Running errands
- Preparing meals and snacks
- Grocery shopping
- Household chores
- Taking other children on walks or to the park
- Sharing ideas and providing emotional support
- Pet care
- Outdoor/garden care
- Driving (especially if mom has a c-section)
- Being “on call” in case something comes up
With all this need, asking for help can be a little intimidating. You may be wondering how you can make “the ask” something that sounds reasonable. Here are a few ideas.
Be proactive
Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed, exhausted, and things are out of hand. Make a plan while you’re still fully functional to keep things on track. It’s much easier to mow a lawn with only a couple weeks of growth, to clean a kitchen with only one load of dirty dishes, and to walk a dog that has been outside every day.
Be realistic
Our closest friends and family are wonderful sources of support and we feel comfortable leaning on those we love. But, before we ask for their help, we need to think hard about their lives and other responsibilities. Divide your requests among as many people as is practical, matching each request to the appropriate amount of time and effort that makes sense for each person. If you’re lucky enough to have a relative who can take off work and visit you, they can take on a lot of tasks but they’ll need a break once in awhile. Your busy friends can bring over a meal or drop off some groceries they picked up when they were shopping for themselves. Your neighbor can walk your dog or mow the lawn.
Be specific
Whenever you need others to pitch in to help, it is always best to be very specific about what you need. When someone offers to help, instead of asking for “help with meals,” ask for “something simple for dinner on Wednesday.” Tasks seem a lot more reasonable when they are clearly described.
Be organized
If you are fortunate enough to have many offers of help (and we certainly hope you do!), you’ll want to keep tasks and helpers organized so that you don’t end up with redundancies, confusion, or way too much food! You can easily make a grid on paper or in a spreadsheet with chores/tasks down the side and days of the week across the top. You can use the list above to get you started. Let friends and family sign up themselves or get one of them to organize the group for you.
I know that asking for help can be tough but you’ll find that even a few tasks taken off your list can make a big difference. You’ll find that most people will want to help. Many of your loved ones understand how exhausting those first weeks are and they’ll want to make things easier for you, if not for the joy of giving, then maybe because they know you’ll “owe them one” when it is their turn.
Next time: Part 2: Coping with “Help” that Isn’t Helpful
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
November Baby Quiz!
It's time for another baby quiz! Today, we're focusing on newborns. Let us know your guesses by leaving a comment. We'll post the answers on Friday.1. What is a typical newborn's heart rate? How many beats per minute?
2. A common assessment for newborns generates an "APGAR" score. What does APGAR stand for?
3. What is the average head circumference for newborns?
4. Which mammal produces the largest newborn babies?
5. What is the average newborns' body temperature?
Next time: The answers!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
April Baby Quiz - Answers
Last Friday, we posted a new Baby Quiz. Here are the answers:
1. What percentage of total time sleeping do newborns spend in active sleep (dreaming)? ANSWER: 70-75%. Active sleep is the time when dreaming occurs. Newborn babies spend so much time in active sleep because the brain activity related to dreaming is important for babies' development. For more information about newborn sleep, read Part 1 of our recent series The Science of Infant Sleep.
2. Around 18 months, babies tend to have a vocabulary "spurt." About how many words does the average 18-month-old learn per day?
ANSWER: 3. It is amazing how quickly babies learn! For more information about language development during the second year of life, refer to Part 2 of the From Cues to Conversation series.
3. On average, how old are babies when they cut their first tooth?
ANSWER: 4 to 7 months. Teething is one part of life that is uncomfortable for everyone. It is physically painful for babies and emotionally painful for parents. Unfortunately, there is wide variation not only in the age at which the first tooth appears, but also in the amount of time it takes for teeth to cut through. In one of our upcoming posts, we will explain how babies' behaviors may change during teething and provide tips for making the experience a little easier on everyone.
4. Babies are born with all 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell). Which of the 5 senses seems to be the least developed at birth?
ANSWER: Sight. When babies are born, they can only see objects that are 8-12 inches away. The other senses are much more developed. For example, a baby learns the sound of his mother's voice before he is born and can distinguish the smell of his mother within days after birth. For more information about newborn development, refer to the post Newborn Development: Reflexes Rule!
5. On average, how old is a baby who can sit all by himself and move a toy from one hand to the other?
ANSWER: 6 months. Babies usually begin learning to sit with support around 4 or 5 months of age. At this age, they also start trying to transfer objects from one hand to the other. After just a few months of practice, typically around 6 months of age, these skills become routine! Remember that all babies develop at their own pace and these ages are just averages. More information about infant development is available in the Infant Development series we posted last September and October.
So, how'd you do? We'd love to hear from you, so send us your comments. We'd also love to use one of your questions in our next quiz, so send those too!
Next time: Back to your questions!
1. What percentage of total time sleeping do newborns spend in active sleep (dreaming)? ANSWER: 70-75%. Active sleep is the time when dreaming occurs. Newborn babies spend so much time in active sleep because the brain activity related to dreaming is important for babies' development. For more information about newborn sleep, read Part 1 of our recent series The Science of Infant Sleep.
2. Around 18 months, babies tend to have a vocabulary "spurt." About how many words does the average 18-month-old learn per day?
ANSWER: 3. It is amazing how quickly babies learn! For more information about language development during the second year of life, refer to Part 2 of the From Cues to Conversation series.
3. On average, how old are babies when they cut their first tooth?
ANSWER: 4 to 7 months. Teething is one part of life that is uncomfortable for everyone. It is physically painful for babies and emotionally painful for parents. Unfortunately, there is wide variation not only in the age at which the first tooth appears, but also in the amount of time it takes for teeth to cut through. In one of our upcoming posts, we will explain how babies' behaviors may change during teething and provide tips for making the experience a little easier on everyone.
4. Babies are born with all 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell). Which of the 5 senses seems to be the least developed at birth?
ANSWER: Sight. When babies are born, they can only see objects that are 8-12 inches away. The other senses are much more developed. For example, a baby learns the sound of his mother's voice before he is born and can distinguish the smell of his mother within days after birth. For more information about newborn development, refer to the post Newborn Development: Reflexes Rule!
5. On average, how old is a baby who can sit all by himself and move a toy from one hand to the other?
ANSWER: 6 months. Babies usually begin learning to sit with support around 4 or 5 months of age. At this age, they also start trying to transfer objects from one hand to the other. After just a few months of practice, typically around 6 months of age, these skills become routine! Remember that all babies develop at their own pace and these ages are just averages. More information about infant development is available in the Infant Development series we posted last September and October.
So, how'd you do? We'd love to hear from you, so send us your comments. We'd also love to use one of your questions in our next quiz, so send those too!
Next time: Back to your questions!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Newborn development: Reflexes rule!
By Jennifer GoldbronnJust yesterday, my daughter, now 2, and I were looking through her baby clothes and we came across a newborn-sized diaper. Amazement swept over me as I tried to imagine my toddler ever having fit into something so small. I clearly remembered how tiny and fragile she seemed the first time I held her in my arms; yet, they let us take her home from the hospital, her survival dependent on us, her new, rather clueless parents!
Newborns are not born fully developed, but they are equipped with a few essential survival skills. At first, newborns are very disorganized and uncoordinated. Their arm and leg movements may appear jerky for awhile. Their sleep patterns and behavior can be erratic, but bear in mind that a newborn has just left the warm, safe confines of his mother’s womb. Suddenly voices and sounds are louder, lights are brighter, and he is experiencing many new sensations and smells. The outside world takes some getting used to, but with the help of his caregivers, he will grow and develop, adapting to his new environment. Infant brain development depends a lot on what babies see, hear, touch, smell and taste.
Senses
Babies are born with all 5 senses, but some are more developed than others. Vision is probably the least developed sense; newborn babies can only see objects about 8-12 inches away. They prefer looking at bright shiny objects, or even better, at mom or dad’s face! When babies are in the quiet alert state , they are ready to interact with you and will respond to your voice or an object you show them. Newborns can also pick up their moms’ smell and distinguish it from others. Babies listen to their mothers’ voice even before they are born and will turn their heads toward the sound of it. Breastfeeding is the culmination of many sensations in an infant: taste, touch, smell and sight. The distance between a mother and her baby while breastfeeding just happens to be the exact distance a newborn can see! But a newborn needs to coordinate several motor skills to breastfeed successfully.
Reflexes
Babies are also born with a set of reflexes that help them react to the world around them. One example: newborns are born with the ability to move their arms and legs in a swimming motion and lift their heads when placed on their stomachs. There are 3 main sets of reflexes present at birth that are important for a baby’s survival:
Newborns are not born fully developed, but they are equipped with a few essential survival skills. At first, newborns are very disorganized and uncoordinated. Their arm and leg movements may appear jerky for awhile. Their sleep patterns and behavior can be erratic, but bear in mind that a newborn has just left the warm, safe confines of his mother’s womb. Suddenly voices and sounds are louder, lights are brighter, and he is experiencing many new sensations and smells. The outside world takes some getting used to, but with the help of his caregivers, he will grow and develop, adapting to his new environment. Infant brain development depends a lot on what babies see, hear, touch, smell and taste.
Senses
Babies are born with all 5 senses, but some are more developed than others. Vision is probably the least developed sense; newborn babies can only see objects about 8-12 inches away. They prefer looking at bright shiny objects, or even better, at mom or dad’s face! When babies are in the quiet alert state , they are ready to interact with you and will respond to your voice or an object you show them. Newborns can also pick up their moms’ smell and distinguish it from others. Babies listen to their mothers’ voice even before they are born and will turn their heads toward the sound of it. Breastfeeding is the culmination of many sensations in an infant: taste, touch, smell and sight. The distance between a mother and her baby while breastfeeding just happens to be the exact distance a newborn can see! But a newborn needs to coordinate several motor skills to breastfeed successfully.
Reflexes
Babies are also born with a set of reflexes that help them react to the world around them. One example: newborns are born with the ability to move their arms and legs in a swimming motion and lift their heads when placed on their stomachs. There are 3 main sets of reflexes present at birth that are important for a baby’s survival:
Feeding: the rooting (head turns toward cheek that is stroked), sucking and swallowing reflexes allow infants to take in nourishment.
Breathing: the breathing reflex, hiccups, sneezes, and moving arms and legs when something is covering the face all protect an infant’s ability to get oxygen.
Body temperature: infants can maintain their body temperatures by shivering, crying, and tucking their legs into their bodies to stay warm. To cool off, they will automatically push off blankets and decrease their movement.
Brain Development and Sleep
Newborns spend 70-75% of their sleep time in active sleep. During active sleep, babies dream and their brains are growing and developing. While infants dream, blood flows to their brains and neural connections are made. Because it is so important for their development, newborns may dream 30 minutes before they fall into deeper sleep. Research also shows that newborns need to wake up to be healthy. They need to wake easily if they are too hot or too cold, hungry, lonely, or need a caregiver’s help.
Newborns are amazing creatures who grow and change daily. Parents can help their newborns grow and develop by holding them close, talking to them, and learning their babies’ cues so that they can better understand and respond to their babies’ needs. While their erratic behavior and sleep patterns makes caring for newborns extremely challenging, the newborn period lasts a very short time.
Thinking back, I realize that at times I was too sleep-deprived to revel in my daughter’s early development. One thing I can picture, as clearly as if it were yesterday, is the first time I held her to my chest as she instinctively rooted around for her mommy’s milk. Aided by her acute sense of smell, she finally found her target and latched on. Listening to the subtle sound of her suck and swallow I sighed with relief: maybe I could take care of this new little being.
Next time: 2-4 weeks: By this age babies are able to follow their parents’ voices and begin to develop a distinct temperament.
Key Resources: Berger (Worth 2003) The Developing Person Through Childhood and Adolescence and Brazelton (De Capo 2006) Touchpoints: Birth to 3 years
Monday, July 6, 2009
Thoughts from a Sleep Deprived Mom: Part 1
By: Jen G
“The first 6 weeks after the baby is born are the hardest!” “Sleep now while you can!” “All of your trouble sleeping at night now is getting you ready to wake up with your new baby!” I heard all of these words of advice and more when I was pregnant with my daughter, and they were generally accompanied by a hearty “Ha-ha-ha.” I would respond with an uncomfortable and somewhat irritated: “Ha-ha, thanks” having no clue what I was in for.
What I knew then.
Before my daughter was born I worked as a dietitian for the WIC program (Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women Infants & Children). You’d think I would know infants, right? Wrong! Sure, I could teach parents about breastfeeding and feeding their toddlers or preschoolers, but when my own little one was born, she didn’t follow any of the rules I had learned! I had even taught classes about Baby Behavior to new parents, but figuring out my own baby’s behavior and sleep “schedule” was like trying to decipher a complicated puzzle.
When my daughter was born 2 years ago, I had learned a little bit about what normal infant sleep looks like and knew that waking was healthy. I knew that her sleep patterns would be a bit unorganized her first few weeks of life, but that knowledge alone did not prepare me to cope with the exhaustion those sleepless nights would bring. I did have one salvation- I knew that if I could just survive those first 6 weeks of my daughter’s life, it wouldn’t be long before she would begin sleeping for longer periods of time, and we would all be able to get some rest.
What I know now.
The first 6 weeks of your baby’s life are hard; there is no way around that! But knowing more about newborn behavior and learning a few coping strategies can make your life a whole lot easier. One thing that makes the first 6 weeks hard is that as new parents, we have visions of this perfect, quiet baby smiling up at us or sleeping soundly in her crib. This “perfect baby” rarely exists…at least not for a few more months! Newborns don’t follow any of the “rules.” Their sleep and behavior can be erratic (as will yours, thanks to sleep deprivation and hormones!) Initially newborns wake every 1-2 hours and when they do sleep, most of it is active (dreaming) sleep (see Baby Behavior Basics Part 1), and they are easily wakened. That’s right: it is NORMAL for your newborn to wake every 1-2 hours. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s not fair, but that’s just how newborns are wired. Research shows newborns need to wake up to be healthy. They wake if they are too hot or too cold, hungry, lonely, etc. They need to wake easily so that they can let us know they need our help; how else would we figure that out? Fortunately, all of this waking doesn’t last very long (in the scheme of your life as a parent).
This too shall pass.
Whenever I would get really tired and frustrated I would think to myself: “If I can just make it through these first 6 weeks, things will get better.” And I did make it through, and things did get better…slowly. My daughter finally figured out the difference between day and night (day is for playing, night is for sleeping). She slept for longer stretches and woke up less at night by the time she was about 6-8 weeks old. By about 2 months, she also developed a more predictable nap “schedule;” these “breaks” gave me a chance to get a few things done (like take a shower!)
Get some rest.
After living through those rough first 6-8 weeks, I’ve learned a few ways to cope with the lack of sleep. Hindsight is 20-20, right! Well, at least someone can benefit from what I learned during that sleepless time, though now it is all a bit fuzzy. I’ve also learned quite a bit over the last 2 years working here at the Human Lactation Center and with moms as part of the Baby Behavior Study. As difficult as your baby’s first 6 weeks are, I have discovered a few tried and true ways to help you and your family get some rest…starting now. I'll share these important tips with you next time. Stay tuned...
Do you have a story about sleep deprivation to share? What has helped you deal with lack of sleep while caring for a newborn?
Next Time: Tips from the Trenches: Surviving Sleep Deprivation
“The first 6 weeks after the baby is born are the hardest!” “Sleep now while you can!” “All of your trouble sleeping at night now is getting you ready to wake up with your new baby!” I heard all of these words of advice and more when I was pregnant with my daughter, and they were generally accompanied by a hearty “Ha-ha-ha.” I would respond with an uncomfortable and somewhat irritated: “Ha-ha, thanks” having no clue what I was in for.
What I knew then.
Before my daughter was born I worked as a dietitian for the WIC program (Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women Infants & Children). You’d think I would know infants, right? Wrong! Sure, I could teach parents about breastfeeding and feeding their toddlers or preschoolers, but when my own little one was born, she didn’t follow any of the rules I had learned! I had even taught classes about Baby Behavior to new parents, but figuring out my own baby’s behavior and sleep “schedule” was like trying to decipher a complicated puzzle.
When my daughter was born 2 years ago, I had learned a little bit about what normal infant sleep looks like and knew that waking was healthy. I knew that her sleep patterns would be a bit unorganized her first few weeks of life, but that knowledge alone did not prepare me to cope with the exhaustion those sleepless nights would bring. I did have one salvation- I knew that if I could just survive those first 6 weeks of my daughter’s life, it wouldn’t be long before she would begin sleeping for longer periods of time, and we would all be able to get some rest.
What I know now.
The first 6 weeks of your baby’s life are hard; there is no way around that! But knowing more about newborn behavior and learning a few coping strategies can make your life a whole lot easier. One thing that makes the first 6 weeks hard is that as new parents, we have visions of this perfect, quiet baby smiling up at us or sleeping soundly in her crib. This “perfect baby” rarely exists…at least not for a few more months! Newborns don’t follow any of the “rules.” Their sleep and behavior can be erratic (as will yours, thanks to sleep deprivation and hormones!) Initially newborns wake every 1-2 hours and when they do sleep, most of it is active (dreaming) sleep (see Baby Behavior Basics Part 1), and they are easily wakened. That’s right: it is NORMAL for your newborn to wake every 1-2 hours. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s not fair, but that’s just how newborns are wired. Research shows newborns need to wake up to be healthy. They wake if they are too hot or too cold, hungry, lonely, etc. They need to wake easily so that they can let us know they need our help; how else would we figure that out? Fortunately, all of this waking doesn’t last very long (in the scheme of your life as a parent).
This too shall pass.
Whenever I would get really tired and frustrated I would think to myself: “If I can just make it through these first 6 weeks, things will get better.” And I did make it through, and things did get better…slowly. My daughter finally figured out the difference between day and night (day is for playing, night is for sleeping). She slept for longer stretches and woke up less at night by the time she was about 6-8 weeks old. By about 2 months, she also developed a more predictable nap “schedule;” these “breaks” gave me a chance to get a few things done (like take a shower!)
Get some rest.
After living through those rough first 6-8 weeks, I’ve learned a few ways to cope with the lack of sleep. Hindsight is 20-20, right! Well, at least someone can benefit from what I learned during that sleepless time, though now it is all a bit fuzzy. I’ve also learned quite a bit over the last 2 years working here at the Human Lactation Center and with moms as part of the Baby Behavior Study. As difficult as your baby’s first 6 weeks are, I have discovered a few tried and true ways to help you and your family get some rest…starting now. I'll share these important tips with you next time. Stay tuned...
Do you have a story about sleep deprivation to share? What has helped you deal with lack of sleep while caring for a newborn?
Next Time: Tips from the Trenches: Surviving Sleep Deprivation
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)