Bringing Baby to Work (From a Coworker’s Perspective)

By: Jennifer Goldbronn

As our readers are aware, the Human Lactation Center is definitely a baby-friendly workplace. How could we not be when we do research about babies! In the past, we've provided information about deciding if bringing baby to work is right for you and tips to make it work, both focusing on the parent’s perspective. In this post, I’ll focus on the perspective of coworkers, describing my experience when Jen B brought her new baby to work. Charlotte, born last December, started coming to work with Jen B when she was about 8 weeks old and only recently stopped coming in, at about 7 months old. Here are some of the ups and downs we've shared over the past 7 months.

As Baby Behavior experts who’ve conducted dozens of infant behavior trainings over the past year, we were excited to get our daily baby “fix” and enthusiastically looking forward to interacting with Charlotte and watching her cues and other behaviors. After all, my daughter just turned 4, so my personal experience spending all day with a baby was a faded memory.  

We learned a lot from Charlotte. Sure, she tested our patience at times, but ultimately, she reminded us why we do what we do (teach parents to understand their babies’ behavior). Babies are amazingly smart and adept at communicating their needs. Charlotte made it clear when she wanted to play or when she was tired and needed a break from all of us. She also was great at letting Jen know when she had had enough of being at the office!  When she first smiled at us, she melted our hearts, and when she first rolled over at work, we were almost as excited as Jen was. Babies have this amazing drive to connect with all of their caregivers.

The Real World

We also realize that our workplace may be quite different than others. Some organizations are not as family-friendly, and even if your immediate coworkers have approved your bringing your baby to work, other people in neighboring cubicles or offices may not agree. Charlotte was definitely starting to get more active around 6 months and she was losing patience with being confined to her play pen (even for just a few minutes), and putting her on the ground was just not safe anymore. Trying to balance Charlotte’s needs and respect for her coworkers while getting her work done, Jen B started bringing Charlotte into the office for shorter periods, working the rest of the time at home. One day we were informed that when Charlotte cried, it was interfering with a sound-sensitive study being conducted in a neighboring office.  With Charlotte’s ever increasing mobility and the possibility that she was negatively affecting others’ work, it was clear that bringing her to the office wasn’t working anymore.

It’s true: babies can be disruptive and parents are still responsible for getting their work done. Babies use cues, including crying, to tell parents what they need, and sometimes that communication can be pretty noisy! Parents need to be sensitive to how this can affect other coworkers. Coworkers or supervisors may agree to the arrangement at first and then change their minds if they feel like productivity is affected too much. The Parenting in the Workplace Institute currently studies programs where mothers are allowed to bring their babies to work. They note that, in general, babies come to work until about 6 to 8 months of age, or until they are crawling. After that, safety and liability issues grow and it’s more challenging to get work done while you chase an older, mobile baby.  Realizing that you probably won’t get as much work done with your baby present, some organizations offer a reduced schedule or reduced pay while parents bring their babies to work.

Written policies can be helpful to protect both parents and coworkers. The important thing is to try to anticipate and address potential issues ahead of time. Some companies set up rules as to where babies will be fed or changed, where diapers will be disposed of (who wants a stinky office!), and where parents will take their babies when there is prolonged crying.  Several companies also have parents designate 1 or 2 coworkers in advance to be “helpers” and watch the baby for short periods if the parent needs to take care of something solo. (In our office, we all were designated “helpers”!)

In the end, Charlotte taught us a lot, and she was cared for by a small group of moms who really cared about her and getting their work done.  Have you been in a workplace where a baby was brought in? Share your experience with us!

Social Referencing Part 2 - Different Roles for Mom and Dad

Last time, we described "social referencing" behavior in older infants and toddlers. Since babies can't understand all the words that their parents' say, they learn about the world around them by watching the expressions on their parents' faces and listening to the tone of their voices. When mom and dad are happy and relaxed and their voices are soft or sing-song, babies can assume that the new toy is safe and something they will enjoy. When parents' voices are sharp and their faces reflect fear or concern, babies instinctively back off. Scientists that study babies have learned that moms and dads often differ in their interactions with their babies and that these differences influence how babies see the world. In this post, we'll share research about differences in social referencing with moms and dads. BUT, we know that these generalizations don't apply to every family.

Mom as Safe-Haven
Traditionally, women have taken on the bulk of the responsibilities for infant care. That means that for many generations, women have been responsible for feeding, changing, washing, protecting, and soothing their children. As a consequence, many babies and children tend to see their mothers as the "safe-haven" and as the source of daily routines and comfort. Mothers' emotional signals are powerful practical guides for day-to-day dos and don'ts. For example, a mom's strong negative emotions about an object may keep her toddler away from it even when mom leaves the room (don't count on this, though). Mothers tend to be quite protective, limiting babies' play and activity more than many dads would. This makes practical sense, especially if mothers have other children to watch.

Dad as Playmate

When dad is in the room, an infant or toddler will use dad as much as mom as a social reference. Dads tend to be more encouraging of wider exploration and activity than moms. When compared with playing with mom, toddlers play with dad tends to be louder and more physical. Dads tend to try to surprise their babies with new games and activities - leading to more excitement, more laughter, and more tears than when babies play with mom. This kind of play may be related to infants' development of motor skills and exploratory behavior. While looking back at his parents, a baby might see a look of concern on mom's face while dad may look excited and encouraging. Which social reference is more powerful? That would depend on the baby. With more and more dads taking on traditional care giving roles, it would be interesting to try the studies again, to see if playtime changes with dads who are providing more of the basic care for their babies and other children. Maybe some of you already know?  

References

1. Hirshberg LM, Svejda M. When infants look to their parents: I. Infants’ social referencing of mothers compared to fathers. Child Dev 1990; 61: 1175-86.

2. Mumme D, Fernald A, Herrera C. Infants’ responses to facial and vocal emotional signals in a social referencing paradigm. Child Dev 1996; 67: 3219-37.

3. Berger KS. The Developing Person. New York, Worth Publishers, 2003.

4. Carver LJ, Vaccaro BG. 12-month-old infants allocate increased neural resources to stimuli associated with negative adult emotion. Dev Psychol. 2007 Jan;43(1):54-69.

5. Vaish A, Striano T.Is visual reference necessary? Contributions of facial versus vocal cues in 12-month-olds' social referencing behavior. Dev Sci. 2004 Jun;7(3):261-9.