Divided Attention and Parents' Stress: Part 2

Last time, we let you know about the increased stress that results from “multitasking” or dividing your attention day after day. While we all spend a good part of our days doing two things at once (typing and listening to music for example), the stress comes in when we have two or more tasks that require first our attention and then, processing time. Things that you do so often that you literally do them “without thinking” like navigating around in your own house, don’t count. So, remembering, prioritizing, decision-making, negotiating, evaluating, and learning are all things done best one at a time. You may think that it doesn’t matter (don’t all parents tie shoes, read emails, and prioritize their days by rapidly switching app-like from one task to the next?) but all the processing power needed can leave you drained, making even mundane things seem difficult. No matter how hard you try, focusing and unfocusing on thoughts and tasks will leave some of them in the dust.  Over time, 18 hours a day of multitasking will take its toll on you and your relationships.

A Better Way

Having competing demands is normal and often out of our control, especially for parents! But we can decide how we handle those demands. Knowing that dividing your attention is stressful all by itself, you can take steps to minimize the need to divide your attention. You might think it is impossible given how little time you already have but focusing more often on one thing at a time will make you less stressed and more efficient.

Let’s do that morning again, this time actively working to focus on one thing at a time.

You know you have an important meeting and you find yourself thinking about it when you wake up. Because you know your kids will need your full attention, you take a few minutes to write down all the thoughts you have about the meeting on a notepad you always keep by your bed. You answer the texts you have received as best you can while letting your co-workers know that you will not be answering any more texts for 40 minutes (or however long you need). Your spouse asks you about adding the trip to the gardening shop to your errands and you ask that he or she send a text  reminding you to add it to the list you already have in your phone. You hear your preschooler wake up and you silence your phone before you walk in his room and start your morning routine. Because he has all of your attention (until the baby wakes a few minutes later) and you are following your normal morning routine, there is no tantrum, and you have a chance to pick out an outfit together while you talk about how many days are left before Halloween.  When you are ready to go (feeling calm but busy), you grab your notes and pick up your keys in the special dish set out for that purpose on the counter and head out the door. After you get both kids safely into the car, you stand outside your car for a moment and check your texts and messages, answering only the most urgent and letting your boss and your co-workers know that you are on your way (on time).

A fantasy? No. None of this is any harder than what you already do. The difference is that you chose to focus only on one thing at a time. You can so this by making 3 simple changes.

1.  Proactively make multitasking unnecessary. Instead of quickly switching from one thing to another, consciously divide your time based on your immediate priorities. Let others know what you are doing and why. They can learn from your example. Remember, your full attention (even for a limited time) is a powerful way to help your children live happier and healthier lives.
2. Whenever possible, don’t rely on your memory. Retrieving memories on the run will divide your attention. Instead, take notes, make lists, and ask for reminders.  Choose to keep the most important objects (like keys, purses, wallets, cellphones) and notes in the same place so that you won’t be distracted by wondering where they are.
3. Follow routines whenever you can. Remember, things that you do so often that you don’t have to think about them require very little processing energy so you can focus on important things, like counting the days to Halloween. We’ve already shared a lot of reasons why routines are good for babies but routines can make life less stressful for you too!

None of these steps require any money or extra time. But taking them can make a big difference in your stress level and your life.

References

1. Nebel, K et al. On the neural basis of focused and divided attention. Cognitive Brain Res 2005; 5: 760-776.
2. Petrac DC et al. Differential relationship of recent self-reported stress and acute anxiety with divided attention performance. Stress 2009; 12: 313-319.
3. Wetherell MA and Carter K. The multitasking framework: The effects of increasing workload on acute psychobiological stress reactivity. Stress Health 2013; epub, ahead of print.

Divided Attention and Parents’ Stress: Part 1

The world we live in demands that we are constantly connected to our electronic networks for news, work, friends, and the latest trends on Twitter. We don’t just need to know…we need to know now. Parents, especially those with young children, also have to be constantly aware of their children in small ways (“don’t touch, that’s hot!) and big ways (“will she like the new babysitter?”). The divided attention needed to stay on top of everything seems to be no longer a choice for parents and has become a normal part of life. “Multitasking” is an expectation, and for most people, a source of significant stress. In the past, media messages and employers asserted that the human brain is limitless and that people, especially women, can manage a lot more work “simply” by multitasking (doing tasks simultaneously or switching back and forth between tasks very quickly). But, the latest research has demonstrated that multitasking has its price, in less focus, accuracy, and creativity, as well as increased stress.

You may be wondering why I’m bringing this up in a blog about babies.

If you are a Secrets reader, you are interested in understanding more about your baby’s behavior. You might be thinking that knowing more about your little one will help you feel less stressed. But knowing a little more about yourself might be more helpful. You may not be thinking of the ever-present need for divided attention as a source of stress but it is known to be so stressful, scientists use situations that require divided attention to induce stress for experimental purposes.

Here are some of the documented effects of divided attention:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure
• Perception that common tasks are more difficult to accomplish
• Mood changes
• Interference with the ability to remember things, including future tasks
• Interference with retrieval of memories and reduced accuracy of those memories

What do these effects mean in the real world?

Let’s say you’re late for work because the kids haven’t been very cooperative. The baby might be getting a cold and your preschooler had a tantrum when you told him that he can’t wear his Halloween costume. You have a meeting in the early afternoon and co-workers have been texting you about it since you first woke up. You had planned to run errands on the way home from work and your spouse asks you to make another stop at a gardening shop that you normally like to visit. You’re almost out the door when you realize you can’t find your car keys. You get a call from your boss just as your preschooler disappears into his room. What happens next?

• Your breathing gets a little faster and you feel overwhelmed and even a little sick
• Anything your boss asks about seems out of line
• You resent your spouse for asking you to run his or her errands when you already have too many of your own (even though you can’t seem to remember what those errands are)
• You feel overly frustrated with your preschooler for going back into his room. After all, he “should know” you need to leave
• You are certain that you left your keys on the counter and can’t imagine any other place that they can be (even though you put them on the hall table without thinking earlier in the morning)

Does any of that sound familiar? Put sleep deprivation in the picture and everything gets worse. It may seem that there is nothing you can do about this but there is! A few changes and you can make even the busiest morning less stressful. In part  2, we'll share these changes. In the meantime, take a deep breath and try to relax!

References

1. Nebel, K et al. On the neural basis of focused and divided attention. Cognitive Brain Res 2005; 5: 760-776.
2. Petrac DC et al. Differential relationship of recent self-reported stress and acute anxiety with divided attention performance. Stress 2009; 12: 313-319.
3. Wetherell MA and Carter K. The multitasking framework: The effects of increasing workload on acute psychobiological stress reactivity. Stress Health 2013; epub, ahead of print.