Comments on Secrets of Baby Behavior: When Motherhood Doesn't Go According to Plan (Part...

Thanks for posting such a positive view of what mu...

2009-08-05T17:06:51.386-07:00

Thanks for posting such a positive view of what must have been a terrible time.

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! ...

2009-08-05T12:19:01.191-07:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!

I vividly remember spending many nights pumping, with a picture of Olivia in my hand, and more tears than milk. I remember feeling like no one understood and that my life would never be the same. I was right that my life would never be the same, but that hasn't been a bad thing!

I also completely understand that men and women often handle things differently. Based on our experience, I would say that keeping communication open and really trying to understand each other's feelings is the key to reducing stress in your relationship.

I am glad that you felt so confident with your second baby! In our case (not that we are ready for number 2 yet) the roles have been opposite - until recently, I wouldn’t even discuss baby #2. Over time, however, I have gotten more and more comfortable with the idea. Just talking (and writing) about my experience has been extremely helpful for me. I no longer feel anxious and nervous talking about Olivia’s birth and that has helped me get one step closer to baby #2! My advice for anyone in a similar situation is to be prepared. You can talk to your doctor about what the next pregnancy would be like. You can also talk to other mothers who have had similar experiences. The good thing about baby #2 (or 3 or 4 or 5!) is that you can be better prepared for the possible problems that may arise.

Later this week, I will post Part 2 about dealing with the trips to the hospital and what it was like to bring Olivia home. It is my hope that our story and the tips that I share will help parents in similar situations to feel a little less alone and helpless.

I appreciate this post so much. I too had a mater...

2009-08-04T16:03:48.883-07:00

I appreciate this post so much. I too had a maternal "plan" that went awry. I had a fairly normal first pregancy, but at my 38 wk. appointment, we discovered that my baby was breech. The next morning, I went into the hospital and the Dr. tried to turn him. That didn't take, so they performed a C-Section. My son had some complications after delivery, and was taken into the nursery that night, and transfered to a hospital with a NICU the next day, where he stayed for 2 weeks. We went through some of the same issues: going home without him (I couldn't even look at his room), needing a breast pump immediatly- and trying to get your milk to come in while pumping in the middle of the night, looking at a picture of your baby and crying, and the trips to the hospital where we could touch and talk to our baby, but not hold him becuase of the wires and tubes. In the scheme of things, his stay was a minor part of his life, and he is a perfect 3 1/2 yr old now, but at the time it was nothing less than traumatic. One of the most interesting things was to discover that my husband and I dealt with it so differently. This was exteremly obvious when I was pregant with my 2nd child. My husband was very worried about complications, and said that he didn't think he could go through something like that again. I felt as though I had gotten through it once, and so I could do anything. Luckily, we had a healthy 2nd baby who came home with us right away.