tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post2273029847264451498..comments2023-10-07T00:40:12.699-07:00Comments on Secrets of Baby Behavior: Why We Don't Like "Sleep Training" for Babies: Part IIDr. Jane Heinighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04068549990790707174noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-76781223576105463352012-07-13T05:55:46.384-07:002012-07-13T05:55:46.384-07:00I have read your post with tears in my eyes! I am ...I have read your post with tears in my eyes! I am having such a struggle with my healthy, 10.5 kg 8.5 month son. I have tried CIO for two nights and hated every second. It feels completely wrong to me and I have decided to stop it. I will try other means and until he is older and able to understand that nights are for sleeping. It is not me , it is not because I am a bad mother, he just has more demanding needs than my daughter who started sleeping through the night at 10 months which coincided with her crawling and therefor being more tired. Thank you!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-52801466802956163922012-06-05T11:49:55.553-07:002012-06-05T11:49:55.553-07:00Well said, heatherWell said, heatherAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-69074889032416272532012-02-06T20:42:25.703-08:002012-02-06T20:42:25.703-08:00I'm okay with a minute or two of crying before...I'm okay with a minute or two of crying before sleep. If my son is sleepy enough to go to sleep after crying for one minute, then I believe that he's truly sleepy and just needs to lodge one more complaint before passing out. This happens in the carseat while driving all the time.<br /><br />But I can't deal with "pickmeuppickmeuppickmeupwhyaren'tyoupickingmeupwhyaren't ... pleasepickmeuppleasepickmeup ..... they're not going to pick me up, are theeeeeeeeeeey" at night. It feels wrong to me. Sleep 'trainers' say all the time, "but it works!!" And sometimes it does. But the more extreme end of the sleep 'training' spectrum works because a child realizes "because it's night time, they're off duty. No matter how urgently I ask them to help me feel better, they're not going to respond." This is true whether the baby is hungry, too cold, too warm, scared, or just wants to be held for a minute. I guess this isn't the message I want to send my kid. If I wake up in the middle of the night hungry, I get a snack, thirsty, a drink, or if I'm cold or scared I snuggle closer to my husband. A baby can't do these things on his or her own. CIO methods seem too much like all the other ways that children's needs are ignored purely for adults' convenience. The way I see it, I can't know what's in his head right now, and until I have a better idea, I'd rather err on the side of comforting him. The older he gets, the more able he will be to do everything (including falling asleep) on his own.<br /><br />In the meantime, I think it's right to respond as quickly and as compassionately at night as I do during the day, and so far that has worked for us.Heathernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-74935434245351036192011-11-12T02:07:55.657-08:002011-11-12T02:07:55.657-08:00I agree, everyone seems to think they should sleep...I agree, everyone seems to think they should sleep through, and often they mean 10-11 hours from six months. In my gut I know this is silly but when you are exhausted and someone is telling you to sleep train, that you are letting them get away with it etc it gets your all stressed out and worried. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-23870286793908490362011-07-29T19:26:33.850-07:002011-07-29T19:26:33.850-07:00Bravo! I have been told by just about every single...Bravo! I have been told by just about every single person I know that I must "sleep train" my son. In my gut I just don't feel it's right FOR HIM and it's posts like this that help me feel validated in my decision. Thank you so very much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-40924849938462037112010-03-11T09:13:33.690-08:002010-03-11T09:13:33.690-08:00From a mom in the trenches right now! My 3 mo old ...From a mom in the trenches right now! My 3 mo old has very erratic sleep- in the last week, it has spanned from 9.5 hours and slipped down to 2.5. We have no idea what accounts for the good or the bad - we do the same thing every night. She has slept long stretches in her crib in the last 7 days, and has rejected it the last two nights and will only sleep in her swing. I keep hearing about babies getting addicted to the swing, etc. However, when we push the crib too much, she ends up awake for longer, gets less sleep,is overtired, etc. I guess my comment and question is, in the processs of trying to break a "bad habit" - like a swing, how much of the baby's sleep do you sacrifice in the pursuit of the goal? At the moment, we feel that you try every night, but once a decent night of sleep for the baby is in peril, you have to let it go. And try again the next night....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-62989302015150013092010-03-10T11:37:51.677-08:002010-03-10T11:37:51.677-08:00I've found this series very comforting. We do...I've found this series very comforting. We do let our son cry for 5-10 minutes if nothing is amiss (dry, clean diaper, etc.). However, we now realize that he will sleep longer when his various systems (ex: nervous system) mature.robertsmomnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-17595585088148241612010-03-09T15:57:28.353-08:002010-03-09T15:57:28.353-08:00The challenge with looking at the studies is that ...The challenge with looking at the studies is that some will only classify the children as sleeping through the night when they do so consistently. Others when they begin to do so. It is no surprise that you would get inconsistent results. The study I was using classified children as sleeping through the night when they slept at least 6 hours but did not require them to do it consistently.Dr. Jane Heinighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04068549990790707174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-234930998196260422010-03-09T15:26:01.829-08:002010-03-09T15:26:01.829-08:00Where did you get the stat that 80% of 1 year olds...Where did you get the stat that 80% of 1 year olds STTN? Other studies show that only 55% do. http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleepstudies.htmlLisanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-75114678902241075142010-03-09T14:21:08.268-08:002010-03-09T14:21:08.268-08:00Amazing how talking about sleep elicits so many re...Amazing how talking about sleep elicits so many responses! We've had lots of comments about this post and the last. We'd like to clarify that these posts were only intended to explain why we don't like sleep training, not to tell others that they shouldn't try it if they wish. We would only hope that parents won't assume that sleep training is a "one-size-fits-all" permanent solution to parents' sleep deprivation.Dr. Jane Heinighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04068549990790707174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-37959787593657239472010-03-09T11:48:38.769-08:002010-03-09T11:48:38.769-08:00What bothers me about this is suggesting that you ...What bothers me about this is suggesting that you shouldn't try something that might work. Sleep "training" *does* work for some babies. I really bought into the idea that if I let my daughter cry before going to bed, I was failing her as a parent. Every baby is different. Some will do well soothed to sleep, some won't. Some will do great if left to work out the getting to sleep thing on their own, and other won't. But, despite what those who are very against letting your children cry will tell you, letting your baby cry for 5-10 minutes at a time for a few nights will NOT hurt them permanently. And if that doesn't work, then try something else. But, don't exclude something that could be a valuable tool.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1532708164460230394.post-20454289840232999602010-03-09T11:05:37.476-08:002010-03-09T11:05:37.476-08:002/3 of my children "resist being drowsy"...2/3 of my children "resist being drowsy". Techniques for sleep were completely different than with their sleepy sister, especially as older babies/toddlers.radmamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17613368278040539200noreply@blogger.com