Comments on Secrets of Baby Behavior: Why We Don't Like "Sleep Training" for Babies: Par...

I don't know that anyone tries a sleep trainin...

2011-04-06T17:43:00.393-07:00

I don't know that anyone tries a sleep training method for "weeks". I believe in trying for a few days and if it doesn't work wait a week or two and try again.

When my kids were little I never put them to sleep with a bottle, and after 3 or 4 months of age I rarely rocked them to sleep (I would rock them, just not until they were asleep). I always laid them down after a bath, meal, and some quiet night time cuddling. By that time they were sleepy, but awake. My son did use a pacifier for awhile, and I made sure he had that. They fell asleep themselves. My son would wake up at night, and want to be cuddled back to sleep. When he was 9 or 10 months old I did some modified sleep training. When he would cry I would go in there and let him know I was there but wouldn't pick him up. I'd pat his butt, sooth him, but without picking him up. Once he settled down I'd leave. He would cry and fuss. The first night was the worst and lasted all of 10 minutes. It only took three nights and he was sleeping through the night. Of course if he was sick I didn't expect him to self sooth, but after those three nights we never had a problem. I've suggested this method to may people and it usually works well.

I have a similar experience to Anonymous from Marc...

2010-04-06T09:06:57.967-07:00

I have a similar experience to Anonymous from March 11th. My baby girl is 11 months old now and we did the cry-out method when she was 7 1/2 months old, it worked well, it took about 3 night, but then we had to go away for 10 days, then she got sick etc. etc. We did it again a couple months later and again it seemed to be working but then she started falling asleep as soon as I put her down (before I could get out the door, at least I think she was sleeping. Then I realized that she must know I'm still in the room when she falls asleep cause she'd still wake up at night. Now I know, she'll fall asleep alone in her crib but she needs to know that I'm in the room. The thing is that occasionally she will sleep through the night, so she must be capable of self-soothing, right? I know she's been teething latley and some nights are better then others, I am just desperate for some answers, has anyone else had similar experiences?

Hi "Mom in the trenches" - We're pla...

2010-03-12T16:23:02.959-08:00

Hi "Mom in the trenches" - We're planning a series of posts to address many of the issues you and others have shared with us. We can tell you that your baby is in a "transition period" at 3 months as she shifts into a different sleep pattern. As an expert, you understand that babies must work toward consistency in nearly every developmental advancement, with backsliding along the way. We agree with you that you do not want to keep your baby in a swing for long periods of time (from your other comment). We'll share more research and our own experiences very soon. In the meantime, try not to be discouraged by your baby's erratic sleep patterns. If you take out your old texts, you'll see that it is standard for babies to do this, off and on throughout the first year. Growth spurts, teething, mild illnesses etc, can throw good progress off course. We encourage you to ask for some help this weekend and get some rest!

Hello Dr. Jane & others - I posted in Part II ...

2010-03-11T13:31:33.696-08:00

Hello Dr. Jane & others - I posted in Part II as well - the mom in the trenches! This sleepy but awake approach is quite challenging, and confusing.

I am a psychologist who has specialized in child development issues. Perhaps that is why I feel so frustrated that, even when armed with a lot of knowledge, I have difficulty applying it to the real situation. Last Thursday, she slept 8 hrs in her crib with no attendance from mom and dad. Obviously, she was able to soothe herself back to sleep several times. The last few nights, however, she is waking very frequently. We have never actively "taught" her to self soothe. In fact, we have pretty much rocked her to sleep since day one. So, the evidence suggests that she has the skills to self-soothe, but is unable to use them consistently. Perhaps this explains all of the frustration people have with this approach.

I am unsure what to make of the warning that I read everywhere: If you don't use the sleepy-but-still-awake approach, you'll be rocking your child to sleep for years. Is this really true, or is it simply a behaviorist conjecture? To Dr. Jane and the women in her office, what did the half whose children rejected this approach do?

Hello Renata, I didn't think your comment soun...

2010-03-10T10:59:16.268-08:00

Hello Renata, I didn't think your comment sounded arrogant at all. There are a lot of babies who aren't willing to cooperate with being put down slightly awake. Among the children of the women in our office, about half the babies did okay with that and half did not. This recommendation seems to be clinical-based rather than research-based. We continue to look into it.

Oh, I hate it when I write a quick comment only to...

2010-03-10T10:18:47.921-08:00

Oh, I hate it when I write a quick comment only to see later how arrogant it may sound. That wasn't my intention at all. I really appreciate the information on this blog and was just looking for a clarification.

I have no idea when my babies started seeping thro...

2010-03-09T18:58:41.141-08:00

I have no idea when my babies started seeping through the night because we co-sleep and I can nurse without waking up. No sleepless nights for me!

Oh sleep! This is timely in that I've been deb...

2010-03-09T14:00:12.996-08:00

Oh sleep! This is timely in that I've been debating when/how to deal with sleep with my second daughter, now almost 5 months old. Hoping to not repeat the year long challenge with my first daughter. I agree that babies are different and some just aren't ready for the all night sleep early on. But how to temper this with the parent need to sleep is a tough one for me. Looking forward to the next installment.

My first baby would wake up the instant she was pu...

2010-03-09T10:05:52.136-08:00

My first baby would wake up the instant she was put down awake or asleep...for a year! This one occasionally goes back to sleep when putting her down wakes her up and often sleeps roght through the transition--thanks for pointing out that babies are different and it isn't always about parenting style!

Just like Renata I can't figure this out eithe...

2010-03-08T23:52:07.610-08:00

Just like Renata I can't figure this out either. Babies put to bed slightly awake simply end up fully awake seconds later...

We've been debating implementing a sleep train...

2010-03-08T11:49:42.346-08:00

We've been debating implementing a sleep training regime and were happy to read your position in the issue. We look forward to the remainder of the series.

How do you put a baby down when slightly awake wit...

2010-03-05T19:51:44.719-08:00

How do you put a baby down when slightly awake without them waking back up and crying? After 4 kids, I still haven't figured it out.

Thank you for this post. I am one of those "...

2010-03-05T11:20:16.270-08:00

Thank you for this post. I am one of those "bad parents" whose children did not sleep thru the night at an early age, and though we have a consistent night time routine and they are put into bed drowsy but awake, they do not "self soothe" or put themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. Hope that is part on one of your next segments. Thanks!!!